The Other Side of The Fence

2008-09-13T14:04:00.000+08:00

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2006-09-29T11:11:00.000+08:00

4th Year (& Closing)

It has been 4 years.

The fateful morning that turned my world upside down.

05:09 am

The 1st time I realized that fear can really rob people of words.

But well...

I chose to say them after that.

For the 1st 2 years, I would come up with a set of lyrics to fill in the unspoken space. Not last year. Neither did I write something specially this year. What I'm gonna put up was an 'accidental product', cos I didn't write with this event in mind.

But after completing it, I find it resonates within me that I purposely postponed publishing this set of lyrics just for this event.

Since the melody was taken from sammi's cantonese song, you guys can go to my Multiply website to d/l the original song called 《伤》 under the 'see mee' playlist.

《别哭》

词：冷叶翻自：《伤》郑秀文

你看到了真实的命运天就从此布满了乌云

当一个人走在回忆里天空就会下起雨

你恨他离开走也不回头望

谁错谁对的话只能往心里藏

思念也许很长你要学着坚强

希望有一天你能找到属于自己的天堂

别哭勇敢面对结束

潜意识就算无法承认失去要坚持

别哭把从前想清楚

每一次受伤之后只能滴着眼泪强忍痛苦

两道伤痕挂在脸上又何苦

你看到了真实的命运天就从此布满了乌云

当一个人走在回忆里天空就会下起雨

你恨他离开走也不回头望

谁错谁对的话只能往心里藏

思念也许很长你要学着坚强

希望有一天你能找到属于自己的天堂

别哭勇敢面对结束

潜意识就算无法承认失去要坚持

别哭把从前想清楚

每一次受伤之后只能滴着眼泪强忍痛苦

两道伤痕挂在脸上又何苦

你拥有了真实的勇气天随时都能为你放晴

当一个人走向未来去要带着微笑随行

8 May 2006

《不哭》

词：冷叶翻自：《伤》郑秀文

被窝不住冰冷的呼吸窗关不住喧闹的寂静

风不经意吹进心房里眼眶就会湿湿的

谁错谁对的话该如何说明白

我不怕受伤害只怕站不起来

就算失去太痛我要活得精彩

希望总有一天我能找到属于自己的天堂

我擦干眼泪不哭

就算全世界背弃我要活出最美丽的

我不再为谁而哭

受伤后是谁说过只能滴着眼泪强忍痛苦

这不是我未来不会再迷路

被窝不住冰冷的呼吸窗关不住喧闹的寂静

风不经意吹进心房里眼眶就会湿湿的

谁错谁对的话该如何说明白

我不怕受伤害只怕站不起来

就算失去太痛我要活得精彩

希望总有一天我能找到属于自己的天堂

我擦干眼泪不哭

就算全世界背弃我要活出最美丽的

我不再为谁而哭

受伤后是谁说过只能滴着眼泪强忍痛苦

这不是我未来不会再迷路

被不再是冰冷的拥抱窗不再是躲寂寞的牢

风轻轻地吹进心田里

灌溉幸福的天地

24 Aug 2006

2006-09-28T11:16:00.000+08:00

CSL MAF

Went for it last night. Before that, it was GAW gift-wrapping, but before that, GAW comm had a meeting, so I accompanied dr to have breakfast. When we returned, they were still having their meeting, so the both of us *cough! cough!* in the cubicle waiting for them...

Gift-wrapping was with VM: Janicia and pui. Crapped like dunno what. I dinch do a good job, cos I was like: clueless at wrapping stuff with irregular shapes.

Set off for CSL with pui and company.

CSL changed a teeny-weeny bit. For one, the security post is concrete le, but in exchange, we had no place convenient for us to sign in.

Raymond still remember me. wow... Actually, my memory of him is a huge boy le (having hang out with cb too much, I imagined Raymond to be of that size). Turned out that he was a skinny, small boy that I almost couldn't recognize him. He 'grew' up in my mind too much le.

The situation was... ermz... chaotic. I was put into a group where ALL THE HYPERACTIVE KIDS were in. I dunch know whether it's good to put ALL hyper kids into a group, cos if we had enough volunteers (1:1), then they SHOULD be manageable. But it was chaotic yesterday. Somehow, I find the reason why I grew fat over the past 2 months...

Justin also remembered me. So did Louis and some of the girls (sorry, somehow I think they are fascinated with me... *giggle* even pui thought so too... haha...). Raymond complained to me that his new kor kor was very bad in chinese. ok... He dinch say that. He said my I teach chinese better than the new kor kor. So he wanted me back to tutor him again.

Well...

I gave him a bar of sweets before I left.

Dinch go for supper with them, cos Chomp Chomp isn't a place convenient for me to go back home. And well, I wanted to reach home fast. But still, I waited 15 min for a bus that is comfortable enough to fit me into it...

2006-09-26T00:57:00.000+08:00

PsychoHunt 230906

It was a moonless night...

The protectors of Moonless City, the NUS Rovers, have called for an urgent meeting regarding the pressing issue of a Psychotic Killer on the loose in the city streets. The meeting of the heroes of Lion Lands was named: PsychoHunt.

8 Slayers, from 8 different lands, met up at ECP at the eastern part of the Moonless City, the site of the meeting. They split into 2 groups, Ma’at 1 and Ma’at 2, but later decided that it will be wiser to combine their forces in case of a showdown with the Psycho. So they adopted the route of Ma’at 1 (which goes east instead of west as opposed to Ma’at 2) and called themselves:

Ma’at 12.

PsychoHunt: ECP Meeting of Ma’at 12

They believed that they can lure the Psycho into action with a bait: someone who looked like he needed ‘care’ from the Psycho. Amazingly, there was one Ma’at who had a superb track record of wielding his Super Horny Look:

DR Wu.

PsychoHunt: DR Wu & his horny looks

Ma’at 12’s 1st stop was to find the Red House of East Coast, where it was rumored that Psycho feeded on the red and juicy soups of Katong Laksa. Unfortunately, the Pyscho had just had his feeding and left behind the dried carcasses of see hum. Undaunted, the Slayers proceeded to find him at the next stop: Lion City Hotel.

It was at the Lion City Hotel where they received power-ups by the uncle who was closing his Paparoti stall for the night. There, they were told that the Psycho had lived there for the past night, but was away for the whole of the day. In return, the Lion of the hotel demanded the Slayers to make him happy by taking pictures with him. In addition, one of the Slayers have to sacrifice his kiss… So Ma’at 12 voted their Social Butterfly for the job…

PsychoHunt: Lion City Hotel

The Slayers were not put off by the series of failures. They hunted down the trail of the Psycho, right to Siglap Centre. It was said that Psycho also favoured the lunch buffet for 2 adults and 2 children nearby. They believed he was more interested in the 2 adults and 2 children rather than the buffet.

Oh, was it mentioned that the Slayers were on bicycles for the hunt? They were so tired by the time they reached the Siglap Centre that they went into the Mac’s there to take a MINI rest…

PsychoHunt: Siglap Centre

They sent out their no.1 Psycho Seducer DR Wu to recce the place of buffet lunch, which unfortunately was closed due to the fear for Psycho Killer. STILL undaunted, the Slayers advanced towards another place of his favourite feeding: Bedok Food Centre, which promised never to close at night.

On the way however, the Slayers were stopped by a humongous dog who told them that he saw the Psycho Killer heading towards the shady path leading towards Bedok Reservoir, so without further ado, they went down on the hunting track of PK.

It was an arduous task, with the Slayers bashing through tree-overhanging tracks and crossing the great River of Cars. The Slayers didn’t know whether to rejoice over the fact that the route they were taking now were free from cars zooming past them from behind or bemoan on the shady track they were now on.

Finally, after crossing under an underground passage and across a River of Emptiness, Ma’at 12 reached the Bedok Reservoir Park.

PsychoHunt: Bedok Reservoir

But where is PK? He was still not to be seen!! The Slayers went onto the swings and tried to see if they could see over the top of the trees by swinging as high as they could get. Alas! The trees were taller than the swing, so no matter how hard they tried, they could not see over the top of the trees…

Just as they felt like giving up, the Slayers saw a TAP. And on the tap was the remains of dried up see hum from their 1st stop. They believed PK must have gone into the tap and took the path of the underground pipes. Upon checking with their Formidable Directory of Streets, the Slayers concluded PK must be in a Mac in Tampines.

They reached the place in double quick time, but saw no one suspicious except for a red-haired, fair-face man sitting outside the Mac. The Slayers suspected he could be PK and tried to induce him to move and give himself away… They tried sitting on him, doing disgusting acts with him and making him do disgusting acts to them, but to no avail…

PsychoHunt: some mac in tamp...

The Slayers, after several futile attempts, decided to catch a drink (huh?) inside Mac’s. After which, they dropped by where some spies for the PsychoHunters stationed. The Spies made the Slayers play some silly game in order to get the info they needed, and the game is…

PsychoHunt: Game

The Slayers weren’t really clear how the hints given to them were useful, but they were told that they had their powers leveled up by playing the ‘difficult’ game. Oh but well… They quickly rushed off to the next station, which was, well, Tampines MRT station, the place in the rumour that PK was trying to make an escape on the rails.

PsychoHunt: Tampines MRT

Ma’at 12 didn’t know whether to rejoice anot, because the station was actually closed. That meant two things: PK could not make a rail escape but PK would not have come, so they were fooled!! The Slayers proceeded to a nearby optical shop to realize that one of the stuff was stolen. They had the hunch that the culprit was PK and he had taken up a disguise to throw the Slayers off his trail!

Reprimanding themselves for missing another chance yet again, they went on to the next possible stop, Elias Mall at Pasir Ris. It was but another let down, because PK was not there! Fortunately for them, there was a power-up inn called 7-11 where they replenished the salts and water lost. And for Jenny, she had her carbo-load with her chocolates.

PsychoHunt: Elias Mall 7-11

Eventually, they started off on the last leg of their hunt: Changi Village, the hometown of PK. Little did they know that PK knows magic! He cast a Rain Spell while the Slayers were beat from the hunt. When they stopped at the bus stop outside Downtown East, he let the rain stopped. When they started again, he played with them by casting a Torrential Downpour! The Slayers took shelter 3 bus stops down and decided to cast a Resistance Spell together to combat PK.

PsychoHunt: Pasir Ris

And they succeeded.

Just as they set off after a 10 min rest, they encountered the worst slope they had ever met throughout the whole hunt. Just one left turn at the junction after the bus stop and voila! Super Slope that seemed to never end!!!

Ma’at 12 encouraged each other and after passing by Selarang Camp (where some fond, distant memories afloat), they finally reached the final destination (no, not nails impaling head or body sliced into 3 by wires), Changi Village.

Amazingly, the place was not as happening as they heard it was. In fact, most of the shops that were reputed for their Nasi Lemak were closed. So the Slayers made do with an early-morning breakfast at one of the stalls. How lucky they were! For after they made their purchase, the stall owners proclaimed the stall closed and chased the rest of the customers in the queue away!

PsychoHunt: Changi Village

Over a couple of teas and nasi lemak, the Slayers chatted about their recent (and distant) lives and bitched about their (impending) advanced placement to Hell for skipping lectures.

Since they were in PK’s hometown, the Slayers decided to do something the villagers there do in the hope of luring PK…

PsychoHunt: xtra...

Just as they attempted the unglam, unsuccessful act, they received a Telepath from the Rovers that PK was captured and all Hunters were to report back to ECP. With this info, the Slayers hopped onto their bikes and took the road down Changi Beach, taking the coastal road back to ECP.

Down Changi Beach, after the SAF Ferry Terminal (yet more distant memories afloat), the Slayers split into 2: one taking the main road, while the other taking the quaint, park trail by the beach. It was a tree-lined trail, with the morning mist hanging low at the branches, reminiscent of the time Slayer Zee had back in the Middle Earth.

The park trail ended at Changi Ferry Terminal, where the guys stopped to take a picture, because they believed that it was most probable they would not go back to the place again. ok, it was Slayer Zee who took the pictures and slowed the group down. With that, the Slayers took to the road (main road) and stopped before the next bend for a photo in the middle of the road. After all, this is all about the process.

They used their bikes to make a road block, but unfortunately, before the camera was set up, a car came and they had to dismantle their road block. Still, they set it up again and took a good photo to remind them of the night where they blocked a whole bloody road.

PsychoHunt: Changi

After the bend, it was the road parallel to the runway of Changi Airport. It was such a long straight road that it seemed to lead to infinity. From cycling with the lights of the airport to the darkness of the hangars, on the right, the road just extended indefinitely. They stopped a few times on the road to take a rest, the only road they took that made them take a few rests.

Finally, the Endless Road Spell broke and the Slayers went past Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal, into the park outside NSRCC, which led all the way into ECP. There, the group split into 3, the advance party of tC, ed and cb and the middle party of DR Wu, Slayer Zee and Glenn and finally, Shit and J1.

Slayer Zee and DR Wu chit chatted throughout the whole journey to help each other forget the pain on their butts while Glenn lingered solemnly behind. It was yet another hour of endless cycling, with the dark sea on the left and many unidentified buildings looming up from the right.

FINALLY, and yes, finally, Ma’at 12 reached the Destination Point of ECP and returned their equipment to the Rovers, after which they went to Mac at ECP (just how many Mac’s are there in Moonless City? There seemed to be a Mac every 2 stops!) to rest. cb pigged himself, as usual, while tC slept and the others whiled their time away. Eventually, they decided it was time to end their Night of Adventure with a parting photo shot:

PsychoHunt: Last shot

The last journey of the adventure ended with a stroll to the main road and the Slayers taking different buses and resting in the airconditioned carriages towards their various homes.

~ The End ~

Pix in youSENDit

userid: zenov_ye@yahoo.com
password: zenovishandsome

2006-09-24T15:15:00.000+08:00

Supper At Tiong Bahru Market

The zps gang had an eat-out last fri, but sadly, the attendance is still not 100%. Still, on MAF itself, we'll have another supper outing and expected attendance is 100%.

We arranged to meet at BM mac and the 3 guys me, kf and fred reached 1st. After some delibration, we decided to go instead to Tiong Bahru Market to have our supper, where xy was supposed to go there straight.

kf n me

We settled at one seat, decided to change to a more airy seat and then proceeded to order our food. We had popiah, chicken wings, rojak, chwee kway and prawn and char siew chee cheong fun.

wow at food

xy n fret fred

leftover

Just pigged ourselves, especially xy, who had a dinner just an hour before.

After that, we shifted to another table nearer to a desserts stall which looked like it was popular with some sort of queue. Had cheng teng, burbur chacha, iced longan and chendol. Nice...

Chit chatted and chit chatted...

After dessert, we walked back to our homes together. A nice walk crapping and working off our late-night calories.

2006-09-21T15:42:00.000+08:00

Ma'at Chalet Report From Chalet PD

Sorry for the late report, but most Ma'ats only received the photos taken 2 mths after the chalet and the pix are not complete some more. But well... It's better than nothing.

Ma'at Chalet took place at NSRCC near Tanah Merah Jetty from 3 - 6 July 2006. We experienced a total of 100% attendance from Ma'at over the length of the 4 days, meaning on some days, it's not 100%, k?

House no 17

Day One

The day started with 5 guys meeting early at Tanah Merah to check in: glenn, chio bu, tC, gilbert and me. Basically we waited to step into the chalet (while glenn-mama checked in), step into the chalet and rotted. Glenn-mama was kind enough to buy for us some tidbit and lunch, while the remaining guys stayed and watched crappy movies on cable and ordered Mac's.

The remaining people came and we continued to rot. Sorry, it happened so long ago I couldn't really recall what we did. It seemed that we hang around the mahjong table, tv and that was all. haha...

The highlight of Day One was the Nightwalk, meant to scare glenn who reputably made LF walk in front of him during E3's Nightwalk. We walked to the driving range, which was, well, a civilized outfield. Then, words started to whisper among the Ma'ats, save glenn.

Guess what? We intended to dunk glenn! So, we led him back to the swimming pool and then did a sneak attack on him!!! So the night of dunking started.

glenn down 1st... 2J couldn't control their laughter

It went to say that silly zenov wasn't very bright. While the other ~~humchee~~ guys ran for cover, he lingered near glenn to be his 1st target of revenge. oh well... well... well... After zenov became wet, the both of them targeted the oldest being in Ma'at, cos well, the older a guy, the slower he can run.

Then we proceeded on to other people. Some people had special treatment. Like zin who thought she was safe sitting on a chair. So we conveniently lifted her, chair and person and dunked her into the pool. Derui was the most hum chee of all. He ran all over the resort and I dunno why. hai... Maybe his big aunt came that day (like jenny) so he couldn't get into water.

But we dunked him all the same.

chalet 3

After a night of dunking, we went back to wash up, after which a group of people mahjonged while the others played Werewolf (tropic ver of polar bear) in a room, cos the other was taken up by My-tires & I-funny. It was during the Werewolf session that we concluded that J2 is VERY accurate at prediction. Every target she singled out turned out NOT to be the Werewolf. Her prediction went on to World Cup where she boldy predicted France would win. By inference, France WOULD NOT win. And J2 was correct.

Anyway, the Werewolf game was put to an end at 6am when the chalet experienced blackout. So we guys just went to sleep, while Bryan went to cook breakfast for us. Nice~

Day Two

We woke up to bryan's cooking -- a VERY SWEET corn soup. tC must had been talking to bryan while he was preparing the brew...

glenn din noe i was sleeping beside him. he tot i was my-tires...

And then, it was the start of what we planned for the day, in fact, the highlight of the chalet: celebrating the birth of Shit.

Unfortunately, our plan was foiled by the very ermz... helpful fred. We were so... afraid that Shit would not come on that day. But well...

One team went to get the food, one to get the party items and the rest stayed to prepare... haha... but the stay-back team played bowling while waiting the party team to get back lol With our special rule that those who 洗龙沟 must show their belly-button, after which it turned to get spanked by the others at the butt...

Anyway, the very clever maid of Ma'at bought white chocolate instead of the black chocolate with nuts as ordered. Now, the chocolate was supposed to be used to make the shit-deco on the cake. We were faced with the crisis of having to make do with White Shit.

Thankfully, the very clever maid happened to buy the same wrong thing the day before -- chocolate MILK instead of chocolate. oh well, so we added the chocolate milk into our shit mixture instead. Through the PD's direction, the creativity of tC and the delicate hands of rx, we completed the one and only Shit Cake in the world!!!

At the same time, people like zin and sin en started to prepare for the decorations by cutting out the words Happy Birthday on construction paper.

Then, we had people like 6g and bryan who helped to start the fire and get the BBQ going... =)

margarine cannot b put beside the fire... later catch fire how??

Shit finally came and the plan was carried out smoothly, that is: Attack JUNLI instead of Shit with the Dirty Water Bombs we prepared beforehand. Yes, we all agreed that evil Junli deserves to get sabo-ed for always tekan-ing Shit. haha...

However, after we had our fun with Junli, we turned our attention back to Shit...

Shit in his home...

After tekan-ing Shit, we chatted and mingled around with the people from other group... Till it was time to part...

After which, the gamblers went to stave their cravings while the Ma'at Superstars crooned to the tunes of Fish Leung, Stef and ermz... Jacky Cheung and Andy Lau...

chalet 18

Apparently, a lot happened that night. Like Secret Pals having a special extended version that very night at the Tanah Merah Beach. Special thanks to Shit and Junhui who risked their lives to bring us the special report... oh but of cos, the SP (SEV) was family-orientated. No mature content, except for the smooching of our two special reporters...

DAY THREE

Day 3 was basically rotting day, cos we had nothing to do except to... rot... We went KTV to sing, played bowling and arcaded... or was that the nite before??

After a day of slacking, we went for Round 2 of BBQ, basically to finish off the food we have let from the day before... As usual, the very 'helpful' bryan took the initiative to start the fire again... What with 6g home bound already...

The BBQ this night was more homely, as there were only Ma'at people around (or 90%, cos Kit brought her alex along...). We had fun and crapped like nobody's business. This is in contrast with the old men in the bungalow beside us who had red wine and talked very high class (in hokkien).

Still, most of the Ma'at left after the BBQ for home, leaving only shuohan, glenn, gilb and PD. but of cos, PD is responsible for the chalet, how could he leave early. haiz... Responsibility...

DAY FOUR

It's even crappier. We were to check out by 10am, so we had nothing much to do too, except to sleep till quite late and clear our stuff.

Then, it RAINED. What luck! But thankfully it didn't rain when the main part of the chalet was held. We checked out through the rain, crapped at the bus-stop and then, went off our ways.

End of report.

Chalet PD
zenov
Ma'at

2006-09-19T22:45:00.000+08:00

Gripes

What is the criteria for on-campus housing aniwaes?

I talked to 6g and he said he got his housing after he applied for waiting list at the 1st hour the application website was opened.

Why haven't I got a room? Weren't I on the waiting list too??

He told me that he got it cos the waiting list was based on 1st come 1st serve basis.

But if I was on waiting list, shouldn't I be before him? I was told I was put on the list in the hols, even before the list was opened.

The only other reason I can think of was that I was NOT on waiting list, but Appeal List.

But even so, why am I not given the room 1st? Isn't Appeal List bigger than Waiting List? After all, people who appealed have valid reasons to do that... What is the rationale behind the whole thing?

WHY AM I NOT GIVEN A ROOM?!?!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Just shot an e-mail to OSA regarding the unfair treatment. If I don't get a reply soon, I'll... send a mail to Today again and see if they dare NOT to reply my mail again.

Actually, even if they replied, if I don't get the room, I'll still Today the affair, cos it's an UNFAIR TREATMENT!!! I know Today will want such a juicy controversy... ;)

2006-09-18T16:51:00.000+08:00

zenov Multiplies...

2006-09-17T18:57:00.000+08:00

人事已非

就在半个小时前，我遇见了一位老友；我的第一个好朋友 -- 文福。将近一年前，我也在这里提起他。或许不该说“提起”，因为我花了一个礼拜的时间写了一篇长长的文章给我这位失散多年的好朋友。

就如那篇文章所提，我们最后一次见面是我父亲去世的时候。那时的我，沮丧得对什么事都没兴趣了，所以对当时的他印象也很模糊。如今又在熟悉的场合重逢，才惊觉我曾经犹如亲弟弟般的死党已不是当年的‘小弟弟’了。坐在我对面的是一个长大又成熟的陌生人了。

是的，虽然他的长相没有经历多大的变化，但是就不知道是什么竟然让我犹豫了很久，让我无法确定眼前的就是文福。。。直至他开口叫我。

我是怎么的？！为什么我会如此反应？也许我的的确确已经不是十年前那个健谈的年轻小伙子了。

两个熟悉的陌生人，并排地坐着，三言两语。曾经是高亢地侃侃而谈，如今只剩低声而沉重的寒喧。我俩今非昔比，他有他的光明前程，而我仍是毫无头绪地莽撞过活。

叶展啊叶展。。。你什么时候才能领悟人生奋斗的道理，清醒地活出自己的精彩呢？

2006-09-17T14:17:00.000+08:00

Mental Block

I'm getting a little sick of staying in study room, under the sub-19 deg aircon, flipping through the assembly language textbook trying to find a way to even start solving the program.

I hate programming. I hate circuitry.

Basically, anything that requires a problem solved by following a set of rules irks me.

Each programming language has their syntax and rules and format.

Each circuit is limited by the functionality of the gates.

Or perhaps this is something that I'm not that familiar with bah...

For maths, we have a set of rules too. To solve physics questions, we must abide by the physical laws and follow on with maths. Why is it that I'm not as perturbed by trying to solve physics questions than when I hafta solve EE problems?? Why am I in EE??

I guess it's that time again when I start to grumble and wonder how I came to be in where I am now. I could be studying aeronautics, why am I here? I could be studying literature, but why am I here?

I am here, because of a wrong faith in people. I am here because I set my sights too high, so high that no one can agree with me.

How do I struggle through??

Sorry, but I don't think I'll be able to blog about something light as I used to for this period of time.

2006-09-16T23:40:00.000+08:00

Breaking Into New Grounds

zenov explored 2 features on the net: msn spaces & multiply. Both are fascinating and provide easy interface, but zenov likes the latter better. In the process of migrating to the new ground... *hee~*

2006-09-15T13:07:00.000+08:00

Accelerated Mode

I feel like not going back home this weekend to concentrate on picking up the pieces of my studies...

But I promised Mum I'd be home to drink her soup...

haiz....................

2006-09-15T12:27:00.000+08:00

zenov Returns With More Shit

zenov (the late) has done it again for this morning's lab. He left home later than planned, but will still be only 10 min late for lab IF NOT for the 96 queue that snaked from the berth ALL THE WAY TO THE MRT STATION. So zenov took cab again...

zenov reached the lab on time, only to find it EMPTY.

zenov panicked, so he checked his timetable again... NBCB... EE2007 lab is next fri... The lab today is... EE2011!!! so zenov fished out his laptop and looked for the venue of the lab for EE2011...

Alas! zenov forgot that it's EE2011 lab today and he didn't even read or even print out the lab manual. So zenov went into the lab blur blurly... He finished the lab blur blurly (not to mention chatteringly, cos it was raining and the aircon was blasting like the winds from North Pole...).

Did he mention it was raining today? Did it rain or the clouds just descend onto NUS?? Cos he couldn't even see the YIH bus stop as he walked down the Great Wall. That was how bad visibility was...

And did zenov mention something bad that happened the night before?

Landlady's Daughter dumped zenov's contact lenses down the drain, came into the room and happily proclaimed that zenov used the wrong lens container lol See? This is how bad LD's interpretation of situation was.

I guess such symptom signifies the cause of her illness called: Apparent Memory.

And just before the contact lens saga, I received an e-mail informing me that I did not attend EE3406 lab. I was cursing non-stop in my mind. I ATTENDED the freaking lab on wed! I even skipped lectures for it cos all the available slots overlapped with my lectures and lab sessions...

Though with it or not, I still skip lectures.

But BKTH, I was rather pissed that when I was around, they didn't take attendance and my effort to attend it was overlooked. I left early to rush for my darned lab report due on wed and that was all I got. Sometimes, putting efforts for something spoils the results for the others. How do we find balance??

I sent an e-mail proclaiming my innocence, and thankfully, they verified with the lab TA that I attended the lab. Well well, all's well end well.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

zenov went to man gaw booths on Thurs. He helped out at engin from 1-2pm, cos he was waiting for Ring-ah-Ring-ah-Ring to finish her tut and lunch with him. He never styled his hair when he went out in the morning, but he went for his lunch appointment with a very stylo-milo hairstyle, cos it was Class 5 wind at engin...

He had lunch at UCC spinelli... Nice place, but limited food. So impractical. No wonder Tri-sha (read: TRY-SHAH) likes to eat there... lol Rarar and zenov gossiped and gossiped.

Then, zenov went to arts booth for his slot. zenov not in the soliciting mood that day, so he just stood about and acted as a mannequin. Apparently, none of the girls (nor guys) who passed by were impressed by his presence, so zenov shifted behind the table hiding behind the poster AND chit chat with pui & christine.

chit chat chit chat for 3 hours, before we closed stall and migrated back to clubroom, where I chit chat chit chat and had dinner and chit chat chit chat...

6g they all demonstrated their Stockmarket Trading Floor skills again, this time with SEVEN people holding 3 different conversations over the CSC table. There were people like denise whom I'd never expected her voice to exceed 40dB who tried to match 6g's 140dB.

6g is NOISY. As EE students should know, all signals come with noise. As amplitude of signals increase (louder), the noise it brings increases too, hence the above conclusion. His voice is loud and clear, but along with it comes interference, noise and crackles...

oh well, BKTH.

2006-09-14T09:30:00.000+08:00

zenov & His Pile Of Shit

zenov must have stepped on a pile of shit on Mon, cos he has been running a spate of bad luck since (with a dash of gd luck though).

1st he couldn't finish his lab, then he couldn't get the spot he like most in study room. Next day, he couldn't find a vacant lab to continue his unfinished lab report. He went to clubrm and ended up being called down to do some weightlifting (was actually helping melvin carry the heavy stuff of the panels he borrowed from UCC for gaw. The weight is nothing... the climbing up Kent Ridge is !@#$%^&*).

He stayed on in the clubrm, only to be disturbed by people like 6g, yf, lx and yvonne. It was really funny. They were shouting across the room having 2 separate conversations and they could make out what the other party was saying. In zenov's mind, he was thinking that if each conversation was carried out in different frequencies, they wouldn't have to raise their voices. If their talking frequencies were different from zenov's audible frequency, he would have some peace and not be tempted to join in their conversations.

oh yar... zenov tokked to all of them then.

Next day, zenov had another lab. By the time he finished that, he had 45 min left before the linear E lab closed for lunch. The lab manager sarcastically said that he could let zenov use the lab, but he cock-damn sure zenov wouldn't be able to finish his lab.

nabehz... that guy spoke with experience.

Afternoon also bad. Linear E lab was having scheduled lab session again, so lab manager wouldn't let zenov in. Digital lab had the space, but not the amplifier... haiz... oh well...

This morning, zenov nearly missed 197 to school. Luckily there were people at the bus stop waiting for 197 (there usually was ONLY zenov at the bus stop). Bought coffee at canteen to realize that one of his $1 coin was actually sporting THE FACE OF GHANDI.

KNNBCCB !@#$%^&*(()_+{}|:"<>?+_)(*&^|}{^%$#@!~?><":;',./[]\=-`

The coin's value was 20 paise (I pray for zenov it means $20 in ghandinese) and he wonder if imported coins cost more?

nabehz... He must have got the coin from the cab driver on monday... Stupid dishonest bloody motherfucker... Student's money also want to bluff. You know how poor students are?? If it wasn't for the fact that he would be 1 hr late for the lab, zenov would never take a cab!!!

zenov spent some bucks on cab, lost 1 buck due to a ghandi coin, late for lab 15 min and still could not finish his lab... sianz... ><"'

Know what? zenov has a gut feeling that he didn't step on shit but that the ghandi coin was cursed. Perhaps it was put into zenov's pocket by some scheming ghandi student to curse him fail his EE modules. PERHAPS all non-ghandi students were cursed!!! nabehz... what do they want? They should curse the ah tiongs only lor, cos the ah tiongs are the only ones at the top. All those non-ghandians, non-ah-tiongs are the ones at the bottom. You curse them they still at the bottom. Where is the brain you had for getting the As??

Even worse, you curse until they drop out of NUS and guess what?? Ghandians will be at the bottom liaoz... You will absorb all the Cs local kids were getting... lol

zenov decides to keep the coin and exchange it for a sticker with some spastic logo with one of those students carrying tin cans at MRT stations this saturday.

In charity, we are encouraged to Pass It On...

2006-09-11T13:18:00.000+08:00

Monday Whines

It's 1300hrs and zenov is tired...

*YAWN!*

but zenov is also slightly depressed...

*YAWNzzz*

haiz... zenov just finished a lab and guess what? He couldn't complete it in time. And in a last minute bid to complete it, he had all the readings gone haywire. He walked out of E4A with spirals for his eyes...

oh well, breast-kiss-the-head. It just means zenov has to wake up early next day to go re-do his experiment.

And then, zenov came to study room and couldn't get the seat he was eyeing. Perhaps the girl will go soon, cos it was nearing the hour. So, he went to have lunch and came back to witness in time a SECOND person kapok-ing his fave seat. NBCC...

But breast-kiss-the-head, zenov still has his second-most desired seat. Though it means he feels a bit shy blogging with tonnes of traffic flowing behind him...

zenov gotta format this entry and quickly settle into mugging mode (lab report due in 3 days and I have another lab on wed and another on fri...). haiz... zenov got his week screwed before it even passed >_<

zenov is still unwilling to start formatting this entry...

So zenov will blog that he plans to go to the gents later to look into the mirror and proclaim: I Bless You.

But of cos, it's very silly to do so, cos zenov has no ability to bless anyone. If he does, he need not be mugging in NUS for an honours degree which he foresees he'll get No-Class le...

oh, but breast-kiss-the-head...

2006-09-10T00:48:00.000+08:00

Troubling...

Maybe I shouldn't blog about LB matters here, but well. I suppose if I censor myself a bit, I will not put the RVP in a difficult position bah.

But anyway, some stuff in LB not as smooth. Perhaps it's with working with people who had a different set of agendas, perhaps I'm interfering with stuff I should not be involved with.

Faced with differing opinions as to whether we should use some funds to aid in our efforts in Befriender-retainment. Some 'oldie' and my boss think we should not spend money on volunteers, cos we're an RVP focused on 'serving the elderly'.

1st, my policy. I don't propose we spend 50-50 on L-B. I'm just suggesting we change to 70-30 from the past year's 100-0. Even though I propose as such, I dunch mean to spend every single cent I can that is allocated for Welfare. The point is that if the situation calls for it, I hope that I can use as much as 30% of the funds.

Befriender-retainment is not a simple task. If not, it will not have been an endearing problem CSC has to tackle. Yes, money can't solve the problem. But it doesn't mean reminding people to come for regular visits or using CCA points to induce them can work on their own too. I just hope to have the freedom to use some money if I think it will aid in my work.

I'm assigned as Welfare, I have to care for the Befrienders. If you dunch give me the money when I need it, do you mean me to go and fetch water from a well when my Befrienders are thirsty from volunteering?

It's not about scrimping every cent you get, but about spending them wisely. I'm not asking to have the money to buy Mont Blanc pens for volunteers as souvenirs at each event, but sufficient funds for me to make a decent enough souvenir which I plan to cap at $1/B. Just went shopping at Ikea for MAF and I didn't even spend till the given budget. I didn't even reach the reduced budget Vic had for me, which was $0.80/B.

And 'saving money for elderly' doesn't mean buying 'better, more practical' presents for special events only. It can be like Bs buying stuff like a new radio for the Ls and claiming the money from the comm.

Somehow, people had a rigid idea of expenditure.

I feel like the situation when I'm working with my E31 people: they barely had an idea of what business is.

My E31 people believed a working device is all you need for it to sell. My LB people believed a Welfare head is all you need to retain Befrienders. tC and I had to push so hard the other time for them to agree to make LBFD nametags and LB t-shirts while they bought bird's nest and chicken essence without hesitation (not to mention my gripe that there were 6+2 offer pack during that period of time). They speak of buying 'practical' gifts for elderly, but are those practical?

We must understand that no matter what we buy, no one will think our prizes are practical. This ah pek may feel a non-slip mat is good, but that ah ma prefers bird's nest. But the ah-pek may get the bird's nest and ah ma the non-slip mat and both of them will complain they dunch like them. Even if you give both of them food items, there will be gripes that this is too sweet, that is too bland.

The aim of giving prizes is about the fun, anticipation and joy when you receive a prize. NOBODY will agree the prize they get is good; the prize that they dunch get will always be better.

Geddit? Geddit?

I still want a chalet and I want it to be subsidized.

For such an activity, you bond the Befrienders. You make them feel more belonged to the family. As such, they will be more hesitant when they feel like pontang/give up LB, cos the people they care and grow attached to may still want to stay on.

It's an investment on the Befrienders, you may reap profits, you may not. But like what they tell you about investment, if you dunch invest, you are definitely gonna lose.

If we dunch invest in our Befrienders and we lose them like we did in the past, we're gonna lose in the end cos without B, LB is NOT COMPLETE.

Maybe I'm interfering too much with what I'm not supposed to. If I still get objected, maybe I should give up the post of Welfare, cos I wasn't allowed to exercise my rights as a caretaker of Befrienders. What's the use of being Welfare in name? In the 1st place, RVP Welfare is not recognized in CSC.

2006-09-09T01:05:00.000+08:00

zenov Loves His Friends

zenov is in blogging mood tonight and speaking of friends, zenov started to think of some weird theories like he always did. Well, perhaps they are not theories, but just some thoughts.

zenov realized he could not get near anybody, emotionally or psychologically. It was what contributed to his anti-social nature. Yes, he can get all touchy, but physical intimacy can never transcend the emotional counterpart, which in zenov's opinion, is what makes a true relationship (in broad terms) work.

Why does zenov distance himself emotionally?

zenov thought and thought and came up with a few reasons of his own.

First, it could be the fear of getting hurt bah. After all, Not all relationships will turn out well. Even worse, zenov could be 自作多情. He treats people dearly and people treats him like a normal friend. And what about going to a point when you know a person so well and then suddenly something happened to dash all the friendship karma you built? zenov is scared.

Secondly, zenov dunch know how to interact with people well. There are times when zenov says something extra that ends up irritating people, or says something that people can't catch (usually the former). zenov dunch know how to express his love for his friends, or perhaps his way of expression is so different from the norm that other people catch no ball. zenov is afraid that by always calling people up to ask them to accompany him will make the friends feel he's very irritating and thus get turned off by his presence.

Thirdly, zenov doesn't know how to deal with emotional trifes. Friends come to him to talk about intimate stuff and zenov either: couldn't offer sound advice or encouragement or end up saying the wrong words to aggravate the matter. He believes in telling the truth, but sometimes, people cannot take the truth. What's more, zenov's weird theories only work on himself, not on others. So zenov tries not to induce friends into consulting him on intimate stuff, cos he knows both parties will go away blur-blur.

Of cos, besides offering advice, zenov also finds it difficult to bare his heart to certain personal issues. After all, he has never really bared his heart at all. If he ever tells something personal, it's most probably something that happened long time ago and has no immediate effect upon the disclosure of the matter. zenov feels insecure about telling intimate stuff, cos he dunch know what the other party will think of him. Will they think he's being naggy and irritating? Or will they pretend to be nice when in actual fact what they said was just standard answers and they dunch give a hoot about zenov's feelings.

zenov, in an attempt to jump out of the fence, has actually remained all these while on the inside of the fence. He was still sitting on the fence overlooking the plains that spoke of freedom and promising future. Of better opportunities and of better people he meets but never dared to approach.

Right now, zenov ponders about the role he's playing in the social circles he is in. Actually, zenov dunch think something will come out of the 'pondering process', cos without a 'higher knowledge' of the world and the interactions of people, he can never attain immortality in the world of interpersonal relations.

Bonne nuit.

2006-09-08T23:22:00.000+08:00

Mood Today Follows The Cosine Function

zenov was in a rather good mood today, cos he learnt to make a serial cable. For the uninitiated, a serial cable is one that we use to connect the computer to its peripherals, though it has different varieties. What zenov learnt was to make a 9-pin serial cable by soldering the wires into the sockets. It was really fun to melt the solder and slot the wire in where it stayed in place in the blink of an eye. It was also interesting to watch his brand new soldering iron smoke and turn brown through oxidation. His Lab TA also praised him for finishing soldering faster than anyone else.

So zenov left the lab, which was said to be the easiest of the string of lab sessions for the module, feeling rather happy. He went to study in study room, his new fave, partly cos the place was quieter and less smelly than the library. Though he didn't really self study, but did some research for his project module EE3001.

Yup, cos he had a meeting for his project mates later.

Let's have some background explanation: EE2001 & EE3001 are both project modules. The former was technical based, where the group was supposed to make a device according to a theme. Like this sem, it was: Intelligent Home. So a group can go and make an automatic vacuum cleaner. The latter, on the other hand, is where the group comes up with an innovation, prove that it is feasible (meaning no need to build the actual device like EE2001) and make a business plan for it.

In zenov's opinion, it means EE3001 focus on the marketing of a product more than the technicality of the product.

There is this typical engin guy A in zenov's group who believed totally otherwise. Apparently, he didn't take any marketing module of some sort, cos his pet phrases were:

1) Marketing is easy lah. Put ad on tv can liaoz.

2) Marketing is NOT important, it's the feasibility/design of the product that is!

3) Aiyah, the 2 people in-charge of marketing have nothing to do!

4) iPod succeeded cos of its good design. Marketing plays no part. Apple didn't put in a lot of money on marketing.

5) Just say we find some stores to sell the product can liaoz.

6) We sell to everybody lah. iPod also can sell to everybody.

No matter how much zenov told him that marketing is not as brainless as he thinks it is, he still put down the marketing aspect as if it was child's play. No wonder so many innovative products failed, cos those who invented it, the engineers, have no fucking sense of business.

1) Marketing is about selling of a product. It goes from positioning of the product in the market to finding the best channels of distribution. All aspects affect the amount of money you spend.

2) zenov DUNCH think Creative products are badly designed. If anything, it has more intuitive buttons than iPod. But comparison is not the issue here. A good design is nothing if you dunno HOW TO SELL IT.

3) Marketing is NOT SO EASY. If not, the module committe would not have wanted us to break down specifically into Marketing, Financial and Technical Sub-groups. Marketing people has their part to do and it's NOT CHILD PLAY.

4) iPod succeeded not cos of its good design, but its SUPERB MARKETING STRATEGY. Meaning, it just didn't throw in tonnes of cash (which it did in atronomical terms), but they reviewed every aspect of the marketing strategy and found the best balance of it all.

5) Selling products is not as easy as putting products on the shelves. The fact that you may get a space on the shelf is already a major problem in the retailing world.

6) Nabeh cheebye. iPod 'sell to everybody' cos it has the money to dump for marketing. But even iPOD is not SOLD TO EVERYBODY. They still segment the market and target the young and tech savvy. Even so, they still spent bloody lots on marketing.

zenov really dunch know what to say. A made their meeting turn out to be so awkward. zenov knows the others were silent, cos they believed zenov had a point and the other guy was being irritating.

zenov mean, another guy B who didn't turn up today was always in a heated argument with him in previous meetings. B was always objecting to A's ideas and all A said in rebuttal was: No no no no no! And that was all. He expected the others to accept his 5 Nos as an explanation to a question to a loophole in the idea he presented.

zenov went away from the meeting feeling all shitty and shitty. To think he actually had a think-he-knew-it-all cum think-he-always-right guy in his group. How is he gonna survive? zenov dunch need an A nor does he want to fail. But at this rate, zenov foresees he's gonna have a hard time for the rest of the sem.

arrggghhhhh!!! zenov tugged at his hair at the thought of this and wow! more hair dropped...

But then, zenov's mood turned better after he attended GAW briefing. The lousy mood persisted, but well, it did turn for the better, especially when he went for post-GAW briefing outing at Clementi.

zenov, J1 and Ives decided to go clementi KFC to wait for tC. On the way, they met zq, cal and edwin, so they all made their way to KFC together. tC came with luke and bs and then after the 3 had their dinner, the whole group went to have dumpling balls.

Nice get together. Having people around him who dunch irritate him makes zenov happy. These people joked and crapped. Though you may say this is quite shallow, but zenov is a shallow person. He believes that if you can be happy being shallow, why not? Yes, friendships become 'more solid' after crisis, and apparently such crisis has not occured even in zenov's Ma'at. However, it doesn't mean that to make a friendship advance, you should CREATE crisis.

zenov went away feeling quite chirpy, even though before the group decided to head home, it started raining cats and dogs. zenov loves rain and coldness. Being with some of his good friends at such fave settings made him feel very blissed.

He took 147 home, which was a spanking new bus. New meaning it was a new design and model. zenov was impressed at the cleanliness and how spacious the bus was. Not smelly! Not dirty! The seats were not broken or missing a handle. Though speaking of handles, there was a lack of vertical hand bars as was the in the older models. No walking while the bus is moving, k! The only grip you have is the one at the staircase!

zenov also smsed Landlady while on the bus. It was actually the 1st time that he sms a person that old! haha... The last record was held by his signal store IC while he was in army, and that IC was 36 (at that point of time). After that, the age cap dropped to 28, then 26 (Bryan lee is still an active friend leh... haha...). In zenov's opinion, it's really hard to communicate with people much older than him, much less using new technology. Apparently Landlady was a very tech savvy woman unlike others her age.

zenov reaches home to a humongous plate of bee hoon. haha... zenov is rubbish bin...

2006-09-08T00:36:00.000+08:00

Alternative Conversation

zenov was preparing to go bathe when Landlady's Daughter said: By the time you come out, I'd have finished my malay homework. Then we can do the you-noe-wat.

so zenov replied: What makes you think I'll take so long to bathe? I can't wait to finsh bathing to do the you-noe-wat...

And true enough, after zenov finished bathing, Landlady's Daughter was still struggling with her malay homework. zenov had to wait for another half an hour before she was done. Imagine him bathing for that long! He would have wrinkled like dunno what.

So after that, they did the you-noe-wat.

What? You dunch know what's you-noe-wat? Wanna try guessing? It's related to something forbidden.

haha...

We booked tickets for Forbidden City!!

2006-09-07T15:24:00.000+08:00

I'm Not A Superstar, But I'm A Superfren!

Let's clear things 1st. I dunch wanna get caught in an embarrasing teasing situation, so I'm gonna announce this: I went to audition for Project Superstar BUT I didn't get in. haha... ok. Not feeling sad, but feeling scared that they might take a scene with me singing AND MAKE FUN OF ME with silly captions like: Oversized contestants with Oversized ego...

oh but well, at least close friends now (or rather, a month later) won't come to me with a smug smile and snigger: You joined PS right? You looked so... dorkish!!!

haha... Really, I don't feel sad. I told xy that 不到黄河心不死，at least 2 months later, when I'm watching the show, I won't be thinking: aiyer... Should have joined. Maybe I could win.

We can never always live in Maybes...

Also, I thought I am a very good friend. haha... If I can't get a title bestowed by some other people, then I'll bestow a title for myself. lol

I mean, I spent the whole of Monday preparing for the Gift Of The Year: tC's birthday present.

haha... At first I thought putting me as Producer at the top of the Credits list was a bit bhb, but well, I thought I should deserve some limelight. haha... Afterall, I sacrificed sleep before my audition for the POTY lol

Credits

First, I was lazy, and it wasn't until sunday night (after waiting in the sun for 7 hours to register for PS) that I realized tC's birthday was just 2 days away. So I sent a mass msn to everybody online to submit to me a personalized birthday greeting on ppt slide.

But on the next morning, I thought it wasn't sincere enough. I was listening to my zenv:m when it occured to me that I could make use of the player's voice recording function. After all, that player had only been used to record my own singing to check if I went off key (frankly speaking, I rarely use it, cos I think I sound spastic, speaking or singing). So I sent a mass sms to all Ma'ats to come down to clubroom to look for me to record their greetings, where I'll station all day after 12 for the sole purpose of waiting for them.

The aim was simple: Record your greeting. If you want, you can dedicate songs and we'll include the song into the 'album'.

Jenny, Edlina, Derui, Sin En and Zin came as promised. Some of them were very against the idea of leaving voice messages, so they did their ppt slides only. Then, Jenny suggested we make a 广播剧. So we came up with a lame, but short script. With only 4 characters, it should be easy to act out.

Disc 1 Playlist

But problems came.

1st, tC came to clubroom. haha... We had to stop everything. ok, it was my fault too. In order to check if he was going to clubroom for GAW, I messaged something spastic like: You going to clubroom today? Things went out of control and I had to meet him to let him preview the songs I prepared for LB MAF.

Then, nobody was willing to record the 广播剧. Zin ran away, Dr & SE never came back. Edlina was the only one who recorded her dedication. All my hope was pinned on km, who promised to drop by clubroom to make recordings.

(Undecorated) Album Back Cover

But our luck changed. Clubroom was deserted by those hardcore clubroom users, with only Luke, the friend of Ma'at around with me. So it meant we had a peaceful, quiet place where we can record silly stuff! Then km came and Edlina pon her meeting.

Thus we started recording.

It was funny. cos Ed said she had to leave soon, we filtered out the parts with her and recorded those scenes 1st. It was Scene 2, Scene 4, then Scene 3, Scene 5 then Scene 1. Machiam like filming movie! Also, we rehearsed and improved the script on the spot. Like Scene 5, it wasn't there in the 1st place. We included background music too. Sound effects, softening of music... Though not professionally, but it was ok lah.

Album Internal

Then km recorded the Opening Speech for the album. After which, he could not get enough and recorded the Closing Speech.

All in all, the recording session lasted 3 hours.

But that was not all.

I had to record rx's greetings through the loudspeaker of my handphone while I was on the cab. Did the same for bryan at home, where he was in camp doing COS duty, waiting for staff parade. Had to do the post-production, like arranging the tracks, naming them, decorating the album cover and including some Credit and Contents List...

Disc 2 Playlist

After audtion in the morning, I spent some time to decorate the album cover even more. Cos I was like filled the space on the outside, but the inside was barren. Then LF came along to submit her share of the greeting, which was made from cardboard. It couldn't fit into the album itself, so I found some rustic twine in clubroom and tied the cardboard to the album, machiam like a gift.

Boy was I satisfied with the gift.

It was the biggest project I've undertaken for a b'day gift and I ~~bet~~ hope it's the one of a kind gift tC ever received lol

(Undecorated) Album Cover

Once again, Happy 21st, tC!

click here for the contents of the present. haha... dun let km noe dat i posted it online lol he'll come down specially from bv to kill me!! keke...

userid: zenov_ye@yahoo.com password: zenovishandsome

2006-09-05T21:25:00.001+08:00

Blog-lag

Sorry, I've fallen into the vicious cycle of being too busy to blog. BUT I'm not not blogging cos I was busy with school work.

Shall elaborate in a later entry.

haha... This is just a VERY fu yan entry...

hehe... oh...

Happy Birthday to tC 老弟 =)

2006-09-03T23:18:00.000+08:00

Went For A 7-Hr Suntan & Sauna, Fullstop

2006-09-02T22:59:00.000+08:00

Great News, Good News

What a saturday. Went to observe the CSC elections and it showed me how difficult CSC people can get. Wanted to at some point of tim to throw some questions, but was afraid I'd make myself sound ignorant. Also, wasn't in a good position to throw questions too...

The outcome was... I don't know how to put it. 2 Ma'at people went in =) Good friend didn't. But for every loss, there'll be a benefit to it. Now friend, you can concentrate more on your studies le bah... ;) Look on the Other Side of the Fence! There should be something that will fancy you de!

Went for LB. oh... Quite a disaster for a 1st regular visit of the semester. The 3 english speaking elderly were not at home (again), so we had about 5 foreigners tagging us along to the dialect-speaking elderly. I thought we'd try to look for the eng elderly one more time next week and if they are still not found, then we'll have to talk to the foreigners le.

Really, I dunno who got them into LB, cos for me, I didn't get a single phone number from those I know who can't even understand chinese. I understand the problem they face and I didn't want to give them false hopes. I treated it as a racist issue during Outreach and Matric Fair to make it light, but now, the problem I fear has surfaced. If we don't handle the problem correctly, it'll affect the morale of the Befrienders greatly.

But well, there's always a bright side of everything.

We have a couple among our newbies! ha... yup. I treat it as a testament to the success of our comm's revolutionized volunteer-orientated management (cos there are definitely other factors contributing to this outcome). Suddenly, I feel so optimistic for our comm's vision. haha... If not, how could love have blossomed within TWO weeks? But people, I reveal this here, but I dunch want this piece of news to spread uncontrollably too. cos I'm afraid our gossips might make them shy and spoil their new r/s.

Just keep it in your mind that you know about it and when the time is ripe, go out to congratulate them =)

I feel so SDU!!!

2006-09-02T00:17:00.000+08:00

留恋

也许这就是我。曾经拥有过的东西总是依依不舍。所以家里总有好多用过的东西。就连很久很久以前的小物品，我也会留一两样来为那段回忆作个纪念。你呢？

别人觉得没有用的，我都会珍惜。别人觉得不起眼的，我也会情有独钟。

旧爱还是最美。。。

Learned from EE2007 that despite the hype in modern days of the processing unit breaking new heights, going into Pentium 5 or 3.2GHz, the major part of our lives are basically made up of products powered by processors of the yester-years. Processors from the 1970s: the 386s & 486s. Dunch believe? Your microwave, your building's lift, even your handphone does not use the faster processors around...

所以说新有新的好，旧有旧的巧。

但是有人却认为我这种守旧的人跟不上潮流，适应不了人性的变换。

也许吧。

当一个人的心已不在我这里的时候，我不会积极挽留也不会很快地去另求新欢，而第一时间的反应就是想：我会等你回来我身边的；我相信你在外头游走了一段时间，就会想“家”，想你从前歇过脚的栖身之处。

有谁和我一样？

有一点天真。

但。。。

有我这样天真的一颗心等你回来，你难道不会感到欣慰吗？

只要别忘了回来，我就会高兴了。因为至少你心中还会想到我。

至：所有曾经和我亲密过，但却和我走失的人。

2006-09-01T20:43:00.000+08:00

I Had A Lunch Date

ok... It was not so much of a lunch date, rather, I was out with 2 good friends on Thursday. Had KTV lunch and then a sit-down-talk-talk session.

I didn't really try to think about it in the first place, cos the more I think, the higher the expectations I will have. I was afraid that the outcome may fall short of the elevated expectations.

But well, I did put in make some effort to make some cards and little gift to show that I care =) I wasn't really all heck care...

oh well... I really dunch know.

I was having mixed feelings about this meet up. Really. Partly cos of the meaning it holds, and partly of my 'guilty conscience'. Xin li you gui lah. Really didn't know what to make of the whole thing. haiz...

But well, still happy that we met up and talked.

One year later, we'll meet again. Hope I will feel more relaxed and enjoy the company better.

=)

2006-08-28T23:47:00.000+08:00

I Am RV-istic (Special Extended Version)

I am RV-istic cos...

~ I can recite the Singapore Pledge in chinese

~ I can chain the key to its ring in super fast time cos I put on 6 buttons on the RV uniform twice every week for FOUR years.

~ I had been to every malls in the West. So much so I had also been to the malls in the North and South. As for the East, well, it's too... far.

~ I don't mind drinking Newater. While others run around a running track or along a road, I ran along the circumference of a reservoir. Pandan Reservoir. I have witnessed too many 2.4km runners (RV-ians) emptying their breakfasts/lunch into our water source than to bother about drinking water made from urine. Not to mention the yearly count of bodies found adrift on the shores of PR.

~ I'm good at running short distance (ok, used to), cos got stupid people like me who likes to walk to the earlier bus stop, sees the bus in the distance and runs back to the bus stop outside the school.

~ I decide the route to go home 3 hours before school ends. There's 176 right outside the main gate that takes me to BM bus interchange, 30 that goes to then World Trade Centre. There are the buses opposite the school gate that goes to JE where I can choose to take bus or train back home, goes to Boon Lay or Bukit Batok/Gombak. There's 143 at the back gate where I can also take to WTC, there's 197 at the AYE, where I can buy a packet of tidbit and enjoy a peaceful walk to the bus stop by myself. Sometimes, choosing to take any of the buses is like filling in the 4D ticket, cos I never know whom I will meet at the bus stop to accompany me on the trip home. Choosing the route home also boils down to whether I want to eat Mac's at BM, Swensen's at WTC, KFC at Queenstown, Long John Silver's at JEC or watch movies at JP/Lot 1/WM/CP after school that day.

~ I have the ability to find my way home despite being lost. Due to the myriad of buses that passes by the school, my friends and I always find ourselves loading onto one of the buses to unknown places. Once, we took a bus to Pioneer Sector (then was so foreign to me) in the pouring rain and ended up in Boon Lay. Once, we took a bus towards JE, decided to change route, crossed the JTH road and waited at the now Creative HQ bus stop for 197 to take us to city. We took 51 and ended up in Little India. I took a wrong bus and ended up at Tang Dynasty; I'd miss a stop and end up walking up AYE from Tanjong Pagar Train Station.

~ I get excited each time my bus passes under the Pandan Flyover towards JE. From there, the bus will make a climb uphill and if the bus is fast enough, we'll go over the top like being on a rollercoaster. I know the bus drivers liked to hear RV kids scream "whoa!!!".

~ I can talk with my mouth unmoving. Good for speaking ill of others IN FRONT OF THEM.

~ I look around my surrounding before I speak ill of others. If the targets are around, I'll employ the above technic.

~ I use my eyes as hands to indicate the target of verbal abuse. A pointing finger will attract too much attention.

~ I am a bass singer; I can never reach the high notes of the school song.
"与日月争光兮与天地共久长 ~ ~ @#$%^&**&^%$#@"

~ I always check my seat to see if it's clean, cos I had to protect my white shorts for 4 years.

~ Not to mention my penchant for hot pants in white...

~ I can squeeze tonnes of things in a given space. Well, I could squeeze my Bio, Phy, Chem, Geog, A Maths, D Maths, Chi textbooks in the drawer under my table. Not to mention the chi dict, english thesaurus-cum dict set, 成语500, water bottle, umbrella, over-due worksheets. 听写, maths exercise books and my NCC manual. haha...

~ I carry light, cos of the above reason. Once, while we were busy trying out maths questions, Mr Ng Hai Guan walked to my seat and took a peek into my bag. All he found was my sammi-covered student's diary. In shock, he turned my bag inside out and nothing came out. He just asked, "You come to school with only sammi cheng?" I need not answer, the whole class did it for me.

~ I can write words in sonic speed, nicknamed 抄人.

~ I don't blame 大长今 for always hiding her hands under her apron, cos well, RV guys like to stick our hands into the pockets in the lower parts of our shirts. oh, so it was always tissue on my LEFT breast pocket, spectacles on my RIGHT, watch on my LEFT bottom pocket and sweets and what-nots on my RIGHT. During my upper sec days, my wallet migrated from my pocket at the back of my shorts to the Lower Right Shirt Pocket, cos well... there are too much stuff to fill in my shorts-turned-hot pants le...

~ I'm a docile man. RV gals are too loud and demanding... ie QIA...

~ I get tensed up when a stranger approaches me. That guy must be a salesman (olden days' MLM), Christian or ex-RV. All three like to talk non-stop of something that I don't feel like hearing: a useless gadget, an out-of-the-world belief, and the line of RV principals since 1956.

~ I know the ONE-AND-ONLY meeting place in RV: In front of the archives. "hey, later play soccer." "ok, mit where?" "outside archives." of cos, I dunch play soccer, duh!

~ I hate Physics most, cos it was on Level 3. Biology was the best, cos the labs were on the ground floor, but it had 2 labs compared to 3 each for Chem & Phy. Technical workshop is the worst. We didn't visit it after 2 years.

~ I can sleep while sitting cross-legged on the floor, and laugh along with the rest of the auditorium when cued. Or stand up to sing song, at other times, all while asleep.

~ The white pages of my Silver Sword book was tainted yellow, cos I used it for the Reading Period, where I would lower my head in pretense of reading it when in actual fact I was sleeping and drooling onto it. Come on, I believe the pages of my neighbour's Merchant of Venice weren't yellow in the first place too...

~ I cover my mouth when I yawn, because Tham-Tham taught us to do that a dozen times. All while I was dozing off. You know how susceptible to suggestions people are when they're semi-conscious...

~ I thought I would go to Heaven (thereby the lack of thought of converting to Christianity when those Christians tried to psycho me to) cos Tham-Tham also said RV-ians are angels.

~ I didn't like PE lessons cos one of the teacher looked like 阿扁 and the other called himself Navel. Both are Mr Teo, by the way. There was a third PE teacher whom I never bothered to know his name. He looked anal, though. Basically, all RV-ians thinks most people in RV looked anal. The only person in RV who dunch look anal is the RV-ian himself.

~ I liked chinese lessons cos I was taught by 2 chinese teachers (new and famous at that time): 蔡老师 & 叶老师. My parents were also by the surnames of 蔡 & 叶.

~ I like giving chi historical figures english names. It started when my history teacher (the fat woman whom I forgot her name) calls Ci Xi: Suzy cos the ang mohs translated her name as Tsu Sze. I called 苏东坡 sotong ball after that. And do you know the english name of Confucius? If you read one of the sec chi texts, it said: 孔子，字庄尼. Meaning: Confucius, a.k.a Johnny.

~ I'm afraid of Geography for the 1st geog teacher I got: Miss Chin. She looked like she comes from Shark Tale, Robert Deneiro's char. Then, I got this teacher called Mr Chan Keng Soon who puts us into hypnotized state the moment he spoke. We only liked him after he performed a stunt when he dislodged one end of the OHP screen and sent it swinging after him a la Final Destination style. Amazingly, that thing missed him, he turned to us asking why we screamed, oblivious to the screen that settled into pendulum state. Mr Ng was so angry at him for spoiling his screen cos it was hanging in the middle of the blackboard, blocking his mathematical expressions. He got Alex, the tallest guy in 4I to remove the screen from its intact end.

~ I hate the RV canteen. Once, after a 2.4km run, I suffered a freaking leg cramp. I was paralysed on the floor, right in the middle of the freaking canteen, with people looking at me and wondering why I was sitting on the floor with a grimace on my face.

~ and yar, like the other RV-ians mentioned above, I like to 看热闹, but not lend a helping hand.

~ I'm a dreamy guy. I once helped my best friend write a love letter for a crush, in the above-mentioned canteen, albeit 2 years earlier. It was the orientation camp in 2nd year, we stayed over cos I was helping out with NCC matters and he, the Students' Council. At night, we couldn't sleep and he asked help from me, so I imagined myself to be sammi in 百分百感觉 and wrote a super-mushy note for him. yup, I just watched the movie and fell in love with sammi in the dec hols just before that.

~ I can sleep on the bus and wake up at the exact bus stop to alight. yup, as mentioned by xy, we always take the freezing 197 in the early, early mornings. Me, xy & benson. We would sleep together on the bus and wake up promptly at the bus stop to drop off.

~ I have an amazing power of concentration. What with the near-until-can-kiss buildings. 2F, was having our literature test, when from across the building, Trina Kok from 2E sang: GO GO POWER RANGER ~ ~ ~ !!! oh... and speaking of singing, there was the famed Victoria who sang from Les Miserables: There is a castle on the cloud. It was rumoured those who heard her sang died 7 days later from trauma...

~ I'm a lone worker. Sec 2, was ousted out by my history group 1 week before the submission deadline. So I ended up rushing my project through sleepless nights. My topic was on Japanese invasion, so I did a write-up on it. Apart from a scrapbook, I made a big 'book casing' for it, out of styrofoam. For the front, I cut out a frame, laid a piece of transparent wrap behind, carved out the shape of Japan's islands and stuck them onto the wrapping, in the middle of the frame. For that, I got an A, and a group of good friends from 2B and 2F, who helped me type my report cos I didn't have a computer.

~ I can differentiate Beauty World and Bukit Timah Plaza and know the way there. Goodness, our $78 per set of uniforms was made there!

~ I know there are 3 kinds of onion rings: Yellow ones are the class monitors, whose jobs were to shout: 起立，行礼！Green ones are the stern-faced councillors who like to tell us: eh... dun run along corridors. Red ones are those Ex-Co who like to say: I love people who are Corny...

~ I know people who called themselves Connie aren't corny at all. Dear Connie, after a morning assembly, called the troublesome 4I & 4J to stay behind for spot check. Dear Connie, saw my Armani, asked: Why is there no hair on the sides of your head? Why is your hair standing up? Do you have hormonal imbalance? nabehz... I became the laughingstock of everyone for weeks...

~ I know how to set up a commercial tent. Learnt it during sec 3 camp. Was one of the facilitators, cos I was afraid of heights and I knew that that would give me a reason NOT to do those confidence-training stuff. And I really siamed. 3I won 2nd for talentime for our Dr Jones dance. 3J won 1st cos they had PP who did a terrific dance item. oh well, 3I talked about team effort, you know...

~ I feel restless when CNY approaches. Why not? Every year, we had to decorate the wall outside our classroom for CNY!!! 1F carved a dragon head out of styrofoam. 2F made a lion head. 3I ermz... I forgot. 4I... even worse. No memories. Sorry...

~ I had shit luck. I have a bronze medal for a 4x100m relay from sec3. We were actually the 5th, but the 3rd and 4th teams fouled. So 3I got bronze. So funny. 1 and only time I went to receive a prize in RV, especially for a sports event. lol

~ I love Tuesdays, cos it was when the teachers had meetings, so we were let off early. During sec3 (the craze of Titanic), I started to watch movie every Tuesday, so much so that by the end of the term, I had nothing to watch. Those were the days when I had Tuesdays With Yonghao, my buddy whom we watched movies together, went to rot in shopping centres all on Tuesdays.

~ I love views that looked over water. Well, RV looked over Pandan Reservoir leh. During my last year, cos Mr Shamsudin liked to bring us to the Library for lessons, I got attached to the Library that I rarely stepped foot in before. Loved the view of the Library looking over the reservoir. Loved the peace. I met friends while I was browsing through the collection. Got ridiculed my Miss Kiang for borrowing Narnia books. eh... If reading Narnia is so childish, why issit found in the Library?? Our library card was 'pink' in colour, where we surrender when we borrow books and the librarians slot in the books' 'tag' into the card and keep until we return the books.

~ I am conservative. After all, I stayed in such a sterile environment for 4 full years. The only person who created a wave in my era was Miss Kiang, who happened to be my English teacher during sec 4. She had long, super curly hair (that she called frizzy), wears 4-inch high heels, mini skirts and low-V blouse. Apparently, her days as a RGS girl has shown the Pandan Monastery what havoc really was.

~ I can play taichi by pushing blames to people. Like blaming qy for making me lose badminton games? Like insisting that I don't owe anybody money. Like the missing textbook that caused me to fail my history test? Actually, I plain forgot there was a history test. And I could have passed it well, cos most of the questions I could answer out of memory, but there was this question on this Melayu book. nabehz... I cursed and swore, and wondered why I should know about a Malay book when I'm a chinese.

~ I am automatically attracted to RV-ians, 7 years after leaving it.

~ I cared to write all these down cos it was a nice trip down memory lane.

~ I know RVHS is 50 this year, cos 10 years ago, when I stepped foot into the grounds of the cream, Lloyd-style building, we had to run around the Pandan Reservoir (bloody 8km of it) to celebrate its 40th birthday. That was the worst birthday celebration I ever had to attend...

~ I have 50 reasons to say why I'm RV-istic for RV's 50th b'day. Do you?

For the school that I spent FOUR happy, sad, crazy, stupid, lazy, senseless, muggy, sweaty, sleepy, drooly, marchy (I was in NCC, duh!) & crappy days: Happy 50th.

2006-08-26T14:40:00.000+08:00

Living As A Punggolite

Had LB's 1st Befrienders' Outing this sem on fri night. Shared a trip back home with fellow Punggolite cum new LB member on NEL, and shared some thoughts about the town we live in.

Be it we come to live in Punggol by choice or by circumstance, most of us love this town we live in.

After all, I always thought I was the only one who was gaga over living in Punggol. I loved the nice scenery, but do the others feel the same? I love the serenity of this place, am I alone in thinking so?

Living in Punggol, I get to appreciate some parts of life that most people don't get to experience.

Beautiful sunrise and sunsets. Clean air (especially during 7th month). Minimal traffic (and the noise it brings). Jumbo jets flying over your head, so low it seemed as though they were grazing the top of the buildings.

I want people to come live in Punggol for the experience, but I don't want them to come cos the increased population will spoil the charm of this small town.

oh well...

prev post on Punggol

2006-08-25T11:13:00.000+08:00

Weak~

I actually feel sorta guilty for blogging here after I made a decision to pon school due to the illness. The drowsiness effect of the medicine I just took has not kicked in, but I'm leaning against the cupboard cos I feel so breathless and lethargic as I typed. haiz... Falling sick is so irritating. I've so many lectures to catch up!

Anyways, I thought I know the reason to last night's queasiness le. I huat leng, meaning I could be sporting a slight fever. Cos after I blogged, my legs started to feel like they were gonna cramp, a very telltale symptom of mine for fever. Thankfully I pulled through the night, though now I have to contend with the irritating, itchy throat and my nasal voice.

ok... the effect kicks in le... Gotta conk out....

2006-08-24T21:17:00.000+08:00

Short Post 2: It's For Real This Time

Dunch know why, I'm feeling weird today. Anxious + nervous + excited... Basically a mixture of feelings that I dunch feel when I dunch meet with something unusual. Perhaps it's cos of the medicine bah.

oh yar... Me fallen sick le. Slight illness (which means no Fever. man! I'm afraid of fever! All aches and pain =S). Saw doc and took medicine. Maybe that's why. yup. The "official reason" was that epl passed his cough to me last sat during LBFD, which he passed on to several other people too, like Fred. oh but well... I hope he dinch pass to the elderly though. Elderly got weaker immunity... lol

I believe it's due to the change of environment bah. When I first moved in to PGP, when I first got posted to my 2 different units, when I first went to BMT (I dinch fall sick during my recourse, only had a bad fall and sprained my back... lol), during the 1st 3 months in HC. As for RV and ZPS, they were too distant for me to recall.

Still feel funny. Better rest.

Sleep AND get well, it shall be!! Tomorrow got LB Outing, so I must be fit and hearty when I attend it!

2006-08-23T22:10:00.000+08:00

Big News For Gossip

oh well, here I am trying to prove my capability to juggle so many stuff again.

oh well, I know there are people who get sick and wonder: when the *beep* is this *beep*er gonna STOP blogging everyday? So long posts some more?

oh but well, I believe if you are here, you must be looking for something in this blog. Either you are bored and think my blog is interesting (this word is subject to various, subjective definitions, AND can be regarded as a compliment or a comment) OR you believe you can find more words coming from my fingertips that you can pick on and twist it and make a big hoohaa.

Either way, you are looking for gossips.

oh well...

Let's just believe it's the former. You know, always look on the bright side of the fence.

hee... The title said this post shall be short, so short it shall be. hmmm... I shall end with an earth-shattering news:

I'm pregnant.

oh... haha... I forgot. How can I get pregnant? arggghhh... wanna bluff people oso pua kang... ok... here's another one:

I've shed 10kg within the last 3 wks!!!

ok... fine!

Live in doubt. Live in skepticism. Live in pessimism for the rest of your life.

Wait till I really achieve that.

ooops...

2006-08-22T23:06:00.000+08:00

It Was A Bloody Bloody Tuesday

1st, Mr 33 had to be late. For 25 mins some more. So it meant that I'd be late for school. Nevermind, I told myself. Pon lecture lor. Just settle in the library and do some catching up.

And then, who else came to take 33 but Ou Yang Feng (he's NOT Ouyang Feng, but Ou Yang Feng), some old-time RV schoolmate who lived in the area. Come on lah. Let him know I want to pon lect just cos I'm 20 min late very lose face, so I went for lecture.

Then I got thick-skinned enough to sit with his click. Gosh! His guys must have been wondering where he picked up the weirdo who used to sit on The Other Side Of The LT. Felt so weird. Then, the lecturer lulled me to lalaland and I decided to leave the LT during the break.

And NEVER to return for HIS lecture. dude! I've got better things to do than to attend such a boring lecture.

Then I did tutorial with the time saved for a tut right after that.

The tutorial was a disaster:

1) Tutor is a PRC => Undiscernable accent => Ununderstandable babblings => Total PUT-OFF.

2) Tutor didn't have namelist => Won't take attendance => I attend for f**k?

3) Answers for tut will be uploaded => No need for copying => Nothing to distract myself => Sleeping Tutorial (ST 2007: Microprocessor System for Sleeping)

4) Tut was in open-ended written format => No calculations => No thought-fumbling solutions => No need to hear explanations of how qn started from A and ended with KNNBCCB (which in computing language is:
10010111001000101101010010101010100101110100101101001
01011110100101010001010010010100111100000101010010100
100011011110101011110).

I wasn't in an especially foul mood when I stepped out of the seminar room, just thought that my life could have been better spent elsewhere, like on the bed (sleeping, alone, yes. dunch tink too much).

Went to clubroom to wait for a lunch date with an engin friend. Put in quite some effort in building rapport, like bothering to reply msn or sms. I mean, yes, she's a girl, but I dunch think that far. Just thought that an extra friend, especially in EE helps.

oh well... It was an anti-climax meeting.

Do you guys read Garfield? Do you know that Jon is always being rejected by girls? And guess what?! HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOW! yes, it has been a week since he last dated that girl and the punchline has yet to come. Either he's destined to have the girl, or the author is taking his own sweet time to bestow him with a dramatic break-up.

Oh well...

I'm really eager to see him broken-hearted.

cos I'm still single and unwanted.

10010111001000101101010010101010100101110100101101001
01011110100101010001010010010100111100000101010010100
100011011110101011110

You know, I actually believe my fault lies in me looking too average. If you look around (sit at New York New York's Citylink-facing booths and observe), those who are attached are either darn goodlooking or too darn heaven-played-a-trick-on-them looking. Can't even convert to gayism too, cos most gay couples are... whoosh! goodlooking. I mean, what for would I want to be a gay AND lonely? duh!

10010111001000101101010010101010100101110100101101001
01011110100101010001010010010100111100000101010010100
100011011110101011110

Speechless...

10010111001000101101010010101010100101110100101101001
01011110100101010001010010010100111100000101010010100
100011011110101011110

2006-08-22T13:16:00.000+08:00

I've Got Nothing To Blog 2:
Still Got Nothing To Blog

nabehz... I feel super bored. It seems that after school reopened, I'm the only one who still cares to update this blog. Everyday some more. haiz... It just goes to show how no life I am. oh but well...

Positive Thinking Z~A~P~!

fa la la ~ ~ I feel super vitalized! Despite all the work that piled on after school reopened, I'm still able to update my blog everyday. Even the LB blog some more. It just goes to show how capable I am to juggle tonnes of responsibilities =)

Can somebody invite me to a tea session, PLEASE?

2006-08-20T23:44:00.000+08:00

I've Got Nothing To Blog...

haha...

Well...

hmmmm...

Watched Nat'l Day Rally. Oh man... My living room's floor is still littered with crows waiting to be de-freezed. But PM was right: Leave the entertainment to the artistes and the serious debate to the politicians.

Aniway, had chillout with xy & kf again, since our last one before the bintan trip.

dinner

Had dinner at Siam Kitchen at where else, but GWC.

After that, we visited the arcade to see if there were any new changes. And then, we went downstairs to Cedele to have dessert.

dessert

Took some photos, though I wasn't very photogenic that day. Or rather, my zi pai skill dropping. haiz... Haven't been doing that for ages...

i grow fat le!!!

okok... Perhaps it was cos I grew fat le. Real fat. haiz...

xy n kf

Been thinking quite a lot these few days. yar, i DO think, k? Just that I think differently from most others.

Super Close Friends like 天边一朵云 & 甜言蜜嘴 knew I was quite down for the past few days. ok... Not emotionally down, but spiritually down.

Been pondering over the roles of my friends.

Practised the skills by 甜言蜜嘴 of observations and I realized I could see so many kinds of attitudes of people, towards each other, towards me.

I saw who was with me, who was NOT with me, and who CAN be with me.

There were so many people who thought they could hide their feelings but their actions gave them away. Flitting eyes, unsubstantiated reasons etc etc.

It was good though. Previously I was lost. Now, I have a clearer mind.

I guess there were friends who were unhappy with me but were reluctant to tell me. Perhaps till the extent of wanting to severe all ties with me. I understand. Friends come and go. There will be times when we find people who seem (and may prove) to be better alternatives as friends. And since there are no written bonding agreements between friends, everybody is free to come and go.

Personally, I am ready to let go. I don't know for the common friends though. Some, we waited together; some we went on with our lives oblivious of a missing friend.

I will gradually forget about these friends who wants to break free from me. After all, I'm a tough person to get along with.

But if they choose to find me again some day, I'll still be around for them.

After all, we did neither of us wrong, it is just a holiday from each other.

2006-08-20T02:21:00.000+08:00

LBFD

On LB On The Blog

Adding personal thoughts here. Afterall, that was LB's blog, not my personal blog. Can't always be me expressing my personal thoughts. I mean, that entry was just a plain recount and posting of the links to the photos taken during the event.

Basically, it was a conservative, but innovative event. Conservative means we stuck to the old stuff, like Bingo and Lucky Draw -- tried & tested. We also tried out some AA stuff too, like the nametag-cum-bkmark.

Don't know about the reaction to the bkmark thingy, cos those who praised it (either aesthetically or in concept) were (in and out of LB) oldies who really isn't our prime target. Well, that thing was to impress the newbies and make them feel LB is not a boring RVP and is not just Lderly visits, but also Befrienders bonding.

Well, the aim was to retain all current Befrienders, new & old.

Other new stuff was the successful BBS (Befrienders Bonding Session). The turnout was rather impressive. I guess it was the early reminder of the BBS, else most people would have zao lor liaoz.

I hope the MAF event will be as successful, if not better =)

2006-08-18T00:42:00.000+08:00

Current Wallpaper

Leaving Fox Glacier, back to Christchurch. One of the dozens of lakes we saw throughout the trip, so much so I forgot the name of this lake. Well, it was the last lake we saw though.

2006-08-17T22:39:00.000+08:00

魅力燃烧

今天的心情忧郁还是快乐不靠天气来负责
喜欢的事情如果太过迷人跟着感觉别怕生

又何必在镜子前面寻找让人心动的微笑
我相信我这个样子很好
开心没有绝招抬头挺胸就好

魅力燃烧快乐环绕
我有我自己最特别的味道
魅力燃烧控制不了
情绪在引爆让人神魂颠倒

魅力燃烧快乐环绕
我找得到让心情着火的味道
魅力燃烧控制不了
体温升高停不了挡不了受不了快疯掉

2006-08-17T02:06:00.000+08:00

Happy Day, Happy Life

Ma'at Sports Day. Played squash till I feel kena squashed. Experiencing what is called Change of Momentum.

Cos you see, big fat guys like me can't really stop quickly after they start running， especially sprinting in the confines of the squash courts. So I kept dashing into the wall in the hope that I can stop in time and prepare to save the next ball.

No ball sense, no stamina. But well, I like hanging out with Ma'at people.

se provided the rackets. cb was kind enough to direct his serve to somewhere I can catch. dr with his sarcasm. jenny taught me how to serve by twisting my hips. joyce came to watch us. km came to talk to us. ed came down to play with us. zin came in spite of outreach duties.

Sometimes, friends is about doing insignificant stuff to each other and sensing the insignificant stuff that signifies the importance they regard each other with.

Then, hf sms me to ask if I wanna go blading this sat. I can't. But well, I appreciate her for remembering me.

xy asked me if I would be going home late and whether I had taken my dinner.

I feel like I'm bathing in bliss.

《冷叶的诗》

外面风大雨大，我也不会害怕。别人的冷言冷语，我也不会在乎。

我问心无愧，我有关心我的朋友。

就算有人弄得我怆然泪下，我还是会抬起头走出去。

我有何罪栽？何必降至低贱人之身份与其一般见识？

我的朋友不多，但都是有心人；就算世界背弃我，我有他们护航。

冷叶的冷夜会过去的。

2006-08-15T22:36:00.000+08:00

Appreciating Life

I feel so happy today. haha... I have mood swings and my mood swings goes according to the sine curve with an expression like:

Mood = 1000 sin x

where x is every half a day.

School started yesterday (since the whole world is blogging about it, I can't be behind), but I had a rather slack day. Dunno why I felt that way. I had a super duper boring 2-hr lect and then I went to slack and waited for the next 1-hr lect 3 hrs later.

Asked people for lunch and managed to 骗 2 妹妹 to come and accompany me in the clubroom. One went to teach tuition (and then she called later and said she kena ps by her tuition kid) and the other accompanied me to arts canteen for dinner. Met ed on the way and jio-ed her to lunch too.

From arts canteen we talked till the Break Station in CL, then to clubroom, then to student's lounge, where I meet the LB peepz for meeting. yup, decided to skip the 1-hr lect cos I believe it would be an intro lecture and I haven't even printed the notes... lol

After meeting, printed some notes with tC and we walked to AYE. eh... It's really nice to live near school lor. I can walk with anybody to any bus stop and not risk getting home too late or what. But well, there's a lot in life we have to give and take. Punggol is a nice environment.

This morning, went to Bras Basah to buy some stuff for LB. Got caught in the rain, even if I was in the bus stop! In a matter of seconds, I was drenched from head to toe. Had to run into the building to hide from the crazy rain.

Took 1.5 hrs to reach school, cos the bus wouldn't come. Met dr, joyce and tC for lunch at science canteen. Then, we brought dr's 3 friends, Edmund, Wee Kiat and Shu Kin (actually forgot his name le...) to CSC Outreach to let them know more about CSC.

yep, today was CSC Outreach. Turned out to be a more crowded event than the Jan's one. Met a lot of people whom I'd not seen for the past 3 months of holidays, or the new peepz I knew in E3 and Matric Fair. It was fun. Though most were like hi-bye meetings, but I think if Fate is there, we'll continue to be better friends than now.

Started doing LB Confidential 2 during then. But well, since we did it in front of so many people, I doubt it's anything confidential le. Anyway, we also disclosed LB Confidential, cos well, it was for Outreach: an identifier for Outreach!

Special thanks to youjie who spent 2 days with me in the studio to help me accomplish it.

A lot of people praised it and well, I was glad. haha... It sure made a lot of peepz from other RVPs go green with envy lol

Made about 10 of the LBC2. Slow, but making progress. ha...

Then, walked tC to bus stop again. But dude! The bus stop at 6pm was swarming with people! wow! NEVER EVER take bus home at such ungodly hour.

Went back and helped clear up the place (though I didn't really help clear up a lot) and then we took some photos using James' handphone.

It was with hospice people. Fun.

Had a fun day. I like to meet those people. Better than some who spoil my day. But well, I still feel chirpy.

No love birds ain't gonna spoil my days to come.

I'm gonna love CSC cos of its sunshine and not cos of its dark spots.

Aniwaes, LB is on the blog! And it's updated =) Take a look:

LB On The Blog

2006-08-15T00:31:00.000+08:00

Speechless

I still dunno what to say. Since the last time I was cornered (shan't say it, cos I promised not to harp on it again), I was actually cornered once again.

False accusations, interogations, post-by-post evaluation. 2 against 1, in the hope of trying to pick on my words.

I knew I wasn't in the wrong, but my adrenaline was spiking, cos I was aware one wrong word will end up with people making a big hoohaa out of it...

The word 'shit' came out 3 times, 'toilet bowl' once and nabehz dozens.

All in a fit of anger, not for fun.

Well, well, I guess that's me, cos I'm all alone here.

Like before, I admit I do get jealous at people holding hands and going through adversities together. But well, this time, it's holding hands and attacking me together. Me, all alone. I feel so ostracized. I feel so despised. It's laughing straight in my face what I don't have.

Or don't I?

I have freedom. Freedom of speech, freedom of love, freedom of actions, freedom of religion.

I'm a free man.

I have no obligations to answer to any other people unless it's gotta do with the law.

So people, remember, don't demand I say sorry or explain stuff to you as if I owe you my last lifetime.

THIS IS MY BLOG, SO FUCK OFF IF YOU CAN'T TOLERATE ME OR THINK MY POSTS ARE HURTING YOU. I'M NOT YOUR SERVANT, SO I DUN DO WAT U TELL ME TO DO OR WAT NOT TO DO.

I may target you or I may NOT target you, but if you believe I'm targeting you, then don't come to my blog cos it's zenovia!, not some honey-coated-oh-so-cutesy-willy-wonka world. I target people, I keep their identity if I want to and you don't get guilty and come demanding that I make myself clear.

yar... I do get amused that somebody would actually come up to me and asked me if '3rd party' was refering to his gf. I didn't know anything about that before, but well...

yes, I'm talking about you. You told me to keep a secret, so I'm not revealing your identities here. BUT DUN COME QUESTIONING WHAT I MEAN OR WHY I DO THIS. cos on my part, I see it as a threat by you from the way you tell me to consider the consequences if I do not keep it a secret.

We are all clear from now on. I don't wanna get involved in your life and neither do I want you in mine.

May I request that the both of you NOT attend LB Familiarisation Day, cos it's an LB day, and in my capacity in the organising comm, I announce that you guys are not welcomed to such a meaningful event. I dun care if you are with MC or CM, whatever.

However, I am not gonna put you at gun point to NOT come. It's just that I'll be really behaving very badly in front of you and people will then realize who you are.

Really, I'm a Pri 6 kid at heart.

2006-08-13T21:33:00.000+08:00

I Feel So Happy Now

Wasn't feeling all that happy even after I woke up, even after I zobo for a day... Till I saw the grateful comments of annonymous-cum-passerby. gosh... I'm creating controversy again... *SMILE*

yup, I do sound like a P6 kid, but I guess all my friends knew that already (this is such a Grade C news). After all, I'm trying to sound as young as I could, cos well, 岁月催人老 (for the clueless ppl out there, it means age is catching up, which means I'm getting old). Look at the way I dress and the way I act and say and everybody gets the idea. *sheesh*

yup, and I'm studying in a university. haha... It really don't fit right? Take a look at my sidebar, it says my horoscope is Scorpio (scream everybody) and one of Scorpio's traits is my contrasting personality. I act differently from what I am. *grinz*

yup, and I study Electrical Engineering from NUS's Electrical & COMPUTING Department. Does that ring a bell? It means I know exactly how to trace people's actions on the Internet, including annonymous-cum-passerby. *皮笑肉不笑*

This is the HAPPY part. *cackle*

Remember what I said in my last post? I didn't expect anybody to 对号入座, cos I thought no one with the intellectual of a 20-something will do that. I'm so sorry, annonymous-cum-passerby, I over-estimated your intelligence. Apparently, you sound like a 20-something but think like a Pri 5 kid. *snigger*

Please feel assured that I devoted a whole post for you. *toothy grin*

gosh! Actually, I dunno what to say, cos well, who can translate pure happiness into words? Maybe we can have a ermz... tag-by-tag evaluation.

I'm so sorry I scared your younger brother, but that pic was meant to be scary leh. If it doesn't scare anybody, what's the point? More people will scold me... waha...!!!

I'm always what I am, except that we are perhaps just 同事 and not 朋友, so you don't actually know me that well. I'm a bastard, yes, if not, how did I become Prez of GC? As to whether my blog sux, well, I like it. At least for this blog, it will have 1 loyal reader forever, which is me. After all, I don't force people at gun point to read my blog, yar?

Friends come and go, and I can't really give you an exact number of my friends now and then. But right now, I have a group of friends who are still my friends cos they knew, understood and are able to tolerate me. I mean, isn't this what friends are for? But just in case your curiosity is killing you:

ZPS Gang: Xiaoyun, Fred, Kin Fai, Wenjing, Baoyi, Ziwei, Weizhong

HJC Gang: Xueli, Huifen, Yuqin, Peipei, Pui Wai, Peijun, Shuhui, Youjie, Yuehan, Larissa, Joe, Qiyan, Stef, Jingwen

Engin: Pascal, Keith

Ma'at: All 20 of them, but very close ones include: Ken, Tan Ching, Lingfong, zin, Bryan, Vivian, Jenny, Joyce, Kianmeng, Ruixiang, Derui, Sin en, Glenn, Gilbert

CSC: Shuhui, Shuohan, Victor, Wanzhen, Yingchao, Mervyn, Amanda, Gam, Mingxiu, Tinywingz, Zi Hui, Sheila, Meitoon, Luke, Liangyu, James...

ooh... My friend's list do seem pathetic in terms of numbers, but well, I may miss some out and I can live with them cos after all, they are good people. So, pathetic in numbers, but BIG in spirit.

oh yar, I have a guai lan face, I can't deny it. My parents gave it to me, so I treasure it (by keeping it guai lan).

And yar, I admit I'm effeminated, cos after all, I have 3 sisters. Which is why I don't sound like a man at most times, but well, you wanna check my virility? I can demonstrate to you...

I don't have a girlfriend, so I suppose you will be 'blessing' the air instead. But fret not, the environmentalists will be very grateful for you.

And all thanks to you, I have reflected upon myself. Now I know I have guai lan face, few good friends, gu niang, single and I pick on people.

But well, I also counted my blessings too, like I dress well so as not to become a public hazard, I treasure my few good friends, I don't drink/smoke/fight/promiscuous, I'm available and I motivate people to become a better person by pointing out their mistakes.

Thanks again *sheeesh!* for I see Dawn Upon Myself. I feel so much lighter now that you have enlightened me. The world is just, people make mistakes. I won't tell people you 对号入座. But I'm afraid my close friends will know who you are le...

Better take cover... =)

2006-08-13T00:23:00.000+08:00

I'm Feeling So Blue

Sorry for sounding so negative, when I keep telling people to stop being negative.

But well...

Kena fire 掉 by my j2 tutee. The 'official' reason was that she was too stressed, so the mum believed she should take the tuition by this 'ex-NJ lecturer' instead.

Sometimes, trying too hard to sound nice hurts even more. ok, I know I'm boring. I know I get stuck in questions. But really, the more you try to explain using your 'official' reason, the more sucky I felt.

Dinno who I could call to make use of the extra time, cos everyone seemed to be busy (except for xy, whom I only realized she was working after she missed my call). It was rather funny. At the point when I felt like talking to somebody, I couldn't find one and didn't feel like finding one.

After all, so what if I really get somebody to come out to meet me? I may end up not saying anything, cos my usual way of recovering from sadness is staying silent.

And there's always this fear that after I expended all my contacts in my list, I will still be all alone...

nabehz... it really felt like the time when I was 'retrenched' by OCBC. Working today and jobless the next.

Stayed at mac at Chinatown Point. Only less than 11 hours earlier, I was having a supper-talk with zin, LF and cb after the meet up for fireworks. Of cos, there were others too, like viv, km and jenny who left before we proceeded to CP.

We ate at New York New York at citylink. Wanted to take the 'table in the hole' one, but the manager told us we can only shift in there when our 2 other friends (km & jenny who were late) arrives. Wanted to burst, but tried a fake smile, which everybody saw through. However, we got to sit at a table near entrance, where while we waited for k&j finish their dinner after we finished ours, the 4 of us (LF, viv, cb & me) began a Fashion Commentary at the crowd passing by the restaurant in front of us.

Singaporeans' dress sense sux.

It wasn't that they didn't dress glam enough, they just dress so badly. Clothes that don't complement their bodies, clothes that looked like free gift from taking part insome loser activities... And there were many who were hunchbacked, even though they dressed nicely. duh!

Went Raffles Place, Fullerton's toilet, before squeezing through the crowd to watch FW, cos LF said it was easier to squeeze from there. Spent 20 min worming through the crowd a la MJ style. Had a nice view (inclusive of a samsung handphone), but the show was boring. It was only cos I was sweating profusely that I didn't fall asleep.

We lingered about Boat Quay, settled for a while at the steps at UOB Plaza's plaza before we proceeded to find an air-con place to chit chat.

The rest was history.

So where was I?

I spent my time at mac's finishing off *LB Confidential* and then stoned for half an hour, before proceeding to Popular at Majestic. Bought a 白先勇's 散文集 called 《寂寞的十七岁》 (yar, bought another book just for its title again) and my HC memories flooded back. I recalled the 鲁迅 story (forgot its name) and the stuff we had to learn: 人民的愚昧和麻木.

Apparently, it is still the case for now.

I like 鲁迅 cos of his superb writing skills, but I prefer 白先勇 cos of his style. 《冬夜》was a bit like 鲁迅 (in MY opinion) except that his ideas were much simpler to comprehend.

LB after that. Nothing much. It was like a small gathering with me, shuohan, victor, kah liang, weijian, tran and calvin. Had dinner with vic, kl, and wj at anchorpoint. Found a louse in my noodles, so I went back to change and they upsized my order for free. Well, bad day's a bad day. No extra serving's gonna compensate for it.

Went to my room to pick up my laptop, then off to a shopping spree, from Hougang I went to Kovan, then back to Sengkang.

Bought $100 worth of stuff, but was it worth it? The bag I bought for my laptop couldn't fit my laptop. The Nike sling bag was way too small. I would prefer the grey toiletries bag than the black shoebag I bought. haiz...

My mum called me a 败家子 again. But such times when I spend about $100 at a go happens only once a year lor. I paid from my savings when I changed handphones, when I changed my MP3 player, when I do upgrades for my PC or laptop and when I buy contacts. Once every few months, I buy a single piece of clothing that costs less than $40.

Is $150 a year for a shopping spree that bad?

I can't possibly wear the same clothes for 4 years in uni bah? Shoes wear off, slippers break, pants have holes between at the crotch, underwear become loose, hair must cut (nicely, no slopes please!), D-O will run out, folders go seh ngek, files must keep up with the number of modules...

I'm trying to live like a normal youngster that I didn't get to live as when I was younger. 我的青春就要消逝了，can't I get a life?

I admit the only thing I have a fetish on is bags, and I keep buying one when the others are still free from extra holes (and there were many others that I refrained from buying!!).

But right now, I'm buying a 2004 model which is on sale!

I'm vexed. Feeling so vexed.

Or rather, I feel rotten. Bad mood and yet no one is saying something that is soothing to the ears. My ears.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(add-on)

Felt like doing something. Planned to blog about this the night before.

You see, there's a certain somebody whom I can't 看顺眼. Not that she stepped on my foot or what. Just that I got quite pissed after she got upset for me being frank. I hate such people who can't face reality. It irks me. Someone says something bad to you and you act victimized. But other than being a 3rd party, there's really nothing else I could pick on her.

Not even when I asked Indonesian last night if she heard about anything bad about that certain somebody so that I could relish in the joy of badmouthing her for the sake of badmouthing. She had none.

shucks!

So I decided to formulate some for her. Like:

Her eye rings are so deep, I wonder if it was really cos somebody reacted to her kiam pa face. Twice.

Her hair is so straight, is she wearing a wig?

Her legs are so skinny they look like poles. Perhaps they are fake too, like her failed to make the grade for A-cup man-made boobs.

She must be a hubby-abuser, cos her bf looked like he had been eating cats (inside joke of GC). Maybe she 吃穷 him liaoz.

She acts so demure, but that's what bitches and sluts do.

I do so hope she breaks down in tears by now, but nah! she won't be reading my blog, unless she wants to 对号入座. wahaha!!!

I still feel rotten...

Know what? I'm gonna walk up to her and act as if I knew nothing, I said nothing bad about her and SMILE, while deep inside, I will have this OS: You dumb bimbo!

Nobody but me shall know the identity of this certain somebody so that all those who offended me somehow or another will start to fall into the agony of wondering whether they are The One. They will look at my SMILE and wonder if there's a vicious OS behind it.

For attacking one person, I'll be making all those who crossed me suffer...

I still feel rotten...

2006-08-11T20:02:00.000+08:00

A Tale of Two Towers

zenov Brothers Proudly Presents

A Ma'at PhotoFilm

A GC Creation

Conjured by zenov the Prez

Starring:

tC as Tower 1 aka Ella

rx as Tower 2 aka xiang

jenny as Plaza 1 aka xiao zha bo

sin en as Plaza 2

joyce as Subplot Scandal 1

derui as Subplot Scandal 2 aka blackforest

chio bu as Passerby A

glenn as Passerby B

However, all characters in this PhotoFilm will be named as per their actual names...

Please be reminded that this PhotoFilm is ficititious but MAY depict the real situation.

PhotoFilm Poster

The Tale started in the summer of 2006, when our main (and supporting) casts went for a camp called Ethelonter III. It was the 1st day of the camp and all of them were new to each other. However, people who are fated to be together tend to notice each other.

The group of them were split up into two groups to think of cheers. tC felt a calling from behind him, so he turned...

But he saw no one interesting. So he turned back.

And just as he did, rx turned back cos he, too felt a calling. But just like tC, he saw nothing.

And just as rx turned back front, tC turned again! Guys, don't you feel it's like Turn Left, Turn Right?

They eventually met each other's glances and the rest was history. How deep was their love? A Photo can speak 6 megapixels of words...

But good times don't last. rx being flowery at heart, he start to bio another girl...

The orange shirt girl was sin en, and the white shirt girl was, who else? Joyce! Soon, sin en sensed rx's attention...

tC was clever. Being a chem undergrad, he sensed the chemistry between the adulterous pair. So he did all he could to set a barrier between them... but THEN, he didn't sense the electrifying glances jenny tried to shoot at him, cos he's not a Phy major.

But there are times when the change of events was beyond his control.

Yes, rx and sin en got more and more opportunity to get together, while tC was ostracized till dunno-where...

rx and sin en became so close that they were looking at each other's direction even when they are at different parts of the room!

And rx and sin en thought they had tC blindfolded...

The above incident triggered jenny's fantasy as she began to believe even more that tC was interested in her. So she adopted a 宁可抓错，不可放过 tactic...

tC also accidentally exposed his status out of frantic...

rx and sin en were still undaunted!

and sin en resorted to underhand means...

Meanwhile, the subplot of ray and joyce's scandal was brewing secretly... into a fiery boil!!! They were always together even though they were blindfolded!

They kissed...

They hugged...

And they lay together...

tC decided to be proactive...

But rx and sin en ganged up to sabo tC...

But their antics made jenny even more siao on about tC... literally siao...

Finally, tC cannot stand it and decided to confront sin en!!

They had a fight, whereby sin en won! gosh! so tC had to be contented with sharing rx with sin en. Little did he realize his little confrontation had broken the heart of poor jenny...

So, did they live happily ever after? What happened to all of them in the days after E3?

It was rumoured that rx's flowery heart could not be tamed by both tC and sin en, so the both of them left him. But it could be rx's influence, cos tC was not very tame himself after the divorce.

He was rumoured to be romantically linked to several other guys in and out of the group. He even had a scandal with an old man called Bryan!

Sin en proceeded to be Void Deck Table Tennis Queen.

Jenny was heart-broken, but she had her wound bandaged by a piece of shit.

Joyce fell in love with another guy called SoupRice (汤米) and dumped ray, so ray tortured himself everyday by twisting his nipples to numb his heartache.

Passerby A and B became Passerby Lovers...

Credits

Special Appearance:

km as Da Bian Xian Zi

zin as blur maid

yanrui as cale-fair

The others who are not in this PhotoFilm will appear in a PhotoDocumentary later on...

Sponsors:

Orange T-shirt from E3
Black Blindfolds from BB
Beach from Sentosa
Pink Umbrella from Edlina's Umbries
Triangular Pendant from Ma'at's Identifiers
All Unnamed Extras from NUS CSC E3 Participants

Crew:

Cameramen LF, Gilby, Edlina & Some Unknown Heroes
Director of Photography: Fate
Scriptwriter: zenov I
Captions: zenov II
Make-up: Nature
Lighting: NUS, Sun, Flash from camera

All Rights Reserved. If you want, link to this Official Website... wahaha!!!

~ The End ~

2006-08-10T00:24:00.000+08:00

My Post Nat'l Day Message

Good (whatever time you are reading this) Readers,

The past year has been a rather peaceful, if not dull period for zenovia!. zenov went crazy and became (more of) a fashion geek, he went through a period of bad luck at the turn of the year, stumbled upon some flowers and then, went into orientation and came back with a loadful of friends and inspiration.

Despite all the unfulfilled resolutions due to procrastination, zenovia! still did fairly well. zenov did something good, that is to join CSC. He could have gained more from it, but he will recover what he missed, in addition to future quota. Together, zenov I, II & III will strive to make zenovia! a better place where they can call their Home.

zenov watched part of The History of Singapore, a documentary commissioned by former PM of said country and found an interesting part: LKY said that during Sook Ching (you faggards out there who are S'poreans BUT dunno wat SC is should go jump off the LBS Memorial screaming 'i'm a traitor!!'), when he believed that he could be executed, he gave an excuse, went back home and 'lied low'.

1st lesson learnt: When you are a big shot, you use big shot language. 'Go into hiding' is for LC ah bengs. High Class people like zenov uses 'lie low' a la LKY-style.

2nd lesson learnt: A very inspiring lesson for zenov. Despite what he did in the past, there's still a chance to make it big. LKY 'lied low', but if he hadn't, he'd be one of the unnamed skeletons found in Changi Beach. He was inferior in popularity to some Lim-guy (don't kill me, I really forgot), but he ended up as S'pore's 1st PM just the same.

zenov believes that despite his humble beginnings and shameful NS years, he can still be the CEO he dreamt to be at the age of 40. It means, he can be a CEO at 40, not he's dreaming of being CEO at 40. zenov still 19, k?

zenov also watched NDP at some cha can ting at east coast. He saw the performance and thought:

If I were a singer, my dream will be to sing the theme song at NDP.

If I were a chemist (or terrorists, as some may call chem grads as), I'd design the most dramatic fireworks for S'poreans to watch.

If I were to be a movie director, I'd write and direct a Cannes-cum-Berlin-cum-Venice-Film-Fest-Award-Winning movie.

If I were to be a rocket scientist, I'd invent a super oil-efficient, big and long haul aeroplane and only let SIA uses it.

If I were to be an architect, I'd build the tallest, most glam, most awe-inspiring, most iconic building the world will ever see, called 黄城.

If I were a programmer, I'd design a game that will brainwash everybody to want to come to S'pore for vacation every quarterly to buy over-priced paperweight made from the rubble from building Circle Line and IR.

If I were to be Storm (from X-men, if you are a sua gu), I'd wreak a quarterly hurricane to destroy all oil rigs not Made In Singapore so that people will start to order oil rigs only from Singapore. I'd also knock all planes which are not heading to or from Singapore down and tell them to know what's better for them. ok, I'm gonna be Super Storm if I were to do that...

If I were Bill Gates, I'd migrate to Singapore and transfer Microsoft HQ there.

If I were Steve Jobs, I'd sell Apple to Creative at $1, rupiah. Then iPods will adopt a new name, called zen-0-v.

Oh well, digressed.

zenov will continue to work hard towards attaining one of those goals, ~~such that SAF will not recall him for ICT or mob manning ever again~~ for the glory of Singapore.

C'est tout.

oh yar, zenov hopes to convert Singapore's official language to the beautiful language of French, IF he were to be President of USA.

2006-08-08T23:24:00.000+08:00

New Abode

Today's my 1st official day in my newly rented rm, with a very over-enthu friend with his over-enthu galfriend *keke*

Went to school today. Wanted to submit the nomination form, but ended up didn't, cos I was persuaded to do more SPs AND THEN run for VPSP next year. haha... That was a very good strategy...

Then ended up gossiping with zin in the student's lounge...

Then, waited for tC to have dinner with him. He went for Flag, haha... too bad I he I didn't pass by AMK or what. Else I could have gone and li xiao him... It was dinner at clementi, as usual. It was the most convenient place to have dinner... lol

Went to PS to buy some stuff for moving in.

And 'home' to wait for enthu-friend to come home from pak tor (to see fireworks, ah budden??)and chat with me and screaming, "ONE MORE SMS!!!" while slapping my legs...

Mon was normal. cos of km's late ktv jio-ing, I ps my plans to go school and welcome tea etc. Not that I could wake up in time, though. But well, it's a bad omen. I'm still lethargic in going to school and would rather go out and play.

The thing was: I suspected that he jio me and LF out out of guilty conscience. oh, did I mention there were only four of us at ktv? km, me, LF and jenny...

Well~

2006-08-06T23:15:00.000+08:00

BOTG: Big Shift 1/3 & GC Reunion

6 Aug: Started the 1st part of my shift to my newly-rented rm near school. Where? I won't tell. Friends who know will know. Estimated of 2 more shifts before I can settle down; who ask me don't have car?

Had fun talking to old friend & long-time-no-see friend. Enjoyed being gooseberry lol After all, I gotta get used to be one for the coming sem. *keke*

5 Aug: 1st tuition 4 my J2 'kid'. Quite paiseh that I have a qn I can't solve. haizzz...

Then, went to Bryan's house with 2J & LF. The Elderly cooked for us: bee hoon & fried chicken wings. He bluffed one of his 'good friend' Esther in chem to join us too.

Slacked in Elderly's room, chatting & watching Hard Gay. hoo~!

Left for the fireworks @ Esplanade. We were late (not early enough) & couldn't find a good spot. ha... so we had to be content with only half a view.

Slacked around after that, waiting for zin & cb to joined us.

Ended up having 'dinner' @ a hot pot stall, but there were only cb, LF & me. Ate till 12 & decided to slack @ Bras Basah mac to wait for 1st train.

Bought a new pair of slippers on the way. 5 hours of chatting, half an hour at Westin Hotel lobby (use the washroom) later, we were finally on our way home.

*Home Sweet Home* =)

It must be funny to hear me calling this a GC Reunion, but frankly speaking, it's cos we barely met for the past wk. What with everyone of us going about doing our own stuff. haiz... And I do admit I am suffering from a little bit of a withdrawal, cos I have been feeling quite bluish and lost.

Bought the wrong stuff for Bryan's cooking session, said the wrong stuff etc. Gotta learn to cope with the withdrawal; I suppose school work will help me a bit.

Life will resume to its usual state when the school starts, just as it used to every half-yrly.

By the way, zin told me something the last night, which was quite a revelation. Despite the slight shock, I still believe in myself. What I say I mean it and if I don't, I'll apologize. Right now, my stand stays and my conscience remains clear. You do your part to put up an image as a victim (so that your followers will continue to swoon over you) and I'll do my part to smear your reputation in my capacity as GC Prez.

GC Prevails!

2006-08-06T16:32:00.000+08:00

zenov Times

E3 Lookback

It has been more than a month since the legendary, extraordinary and exciting Ethelonter III ended. Our reporter, zenov, specially looked through the photos to scour for scandals or funny pictures to add to our daily column.

In our 1st instalment, we shall give out certain awards to some of the Ma'ats. It's called the Perpetual Award and there are 3 takers to this award.

1st up, for the Perpetual Sianz Award is xiang! For this, the GC shall endow him with the title: Sianz Xiang.

sian xiang

Look at him. Doesn't he look like a forlorn old man? Wandering about, waiting for his end to come...

Next up, we have the Perpetual Blur Look Award, given to Aminah Zin! With this, she shall have the title of Blurzin.

blur zin

She's lost, people, can somebody please guide her along? Or did she just come out of a drama serial? Oh... can anybody be as blur as she looks?

Right in the 2nd place is the Perpetual Kiam Pa Face Award and he's none other than our beloved Chio Bu!!! GC has decided to endow this VP of the soc the auxilliary title of Kiam Pa Bu.

kiam pa chio bu

Fortunately, 3 out of 4 pictures were taken on the same day. Perhaps he was just in a foul mood on that day. Or maybe the photographer got sick of his kiam pa face and decides to find better targets. Oh well...

Finally, the Heavenly Queen of Queen, the strongest taker of the Perpetual Award, is Sin En garnering the Perpetual Diao Face Award. Her newest title in Ma'at will be Diao Sin.

diao sin en

Just take a look at her! She looked like she just come out of 《阿诚》、《龙卷风》、《摩天轮》. Just look at the way she diao people while wearing a cunning smile! Doesn't she look scary?

Next up, we have a Choose Your Favourite Photo Contest. No, we don't find the best-looking photos taken, cos there were just too many photos that were nicely taken. Instead, we have found the ugliest, most unglam photos for your taking. Pick up your index finger and just type the number representing the photo that is your favouritest!

No. 1a Ray w his act childish look

No. 1b Ray w his want-to-fight look

No. 2a LF w her gossip-to-share look

No. 2b LF w her gimme-a-kiss look

No. 3 Terence w his shagged look

No. 4 xiang w his mei-lian-jian-ren look （见人，not 贱人）

No. 5 Crystal w her eyes-half-closed look

No. 6 Edlina w her i-noe-wat-u-did-last-summer-&-i-did-the-same look

No. 7 ck w his 'i say fff...' look

No. 8 vivi w her 抓奸 look

No. 9 tC w his Ella-roll-eyeballs (smaller pic) look

No. 10 Jason w his kungfu master look

What are you waiting for? Enter your choice now!

Watch out for the 2nd instalment called A Tale of 2 Towers (to be released while tC is busy with his rag...)

2006-08-04T21:13:00.000+08:00

Blogging On-The-Go

hehe... Imagine this: I'm blogging on my way to school!! yep... Writing (literally) into my palm as I ride on the LRT. Well, it sure is tough using the handwriting thingy, when the thing isn't sensitive, when I'm not used to writing letter-by-letter & esp when the train shakes like dunno-wat.

On wed, went to do LB stuff w yj. Not that yj is part ofLB, just that there's something that I need of his expertise.

By evening, we only managed to finish designing the "thing". Now (fri morn), I'm on my way to school to meet him to complete whatever we left undone.

I spent the whole of thurs at home, which sure is rare this hols. Can't be blamed. The others are getting busy; what with matric fair & cb & tC (my 2 tok-kok buddies) in orientation camps.

haiz... boring term life about to start again...

Slept till noon, then started scouring E3 photos for scandals, a la LF-style. Frankly speaking, it's the 1st time I've seen through the pix thoroughly. hmmm...

Then, using the pix I found, I blogged. haha... & that was only Pt I of what l intend to write lol

Napped, dined, cabled & bathed before I settled in front of my laptop again, this time setting up a *LB Confidential 2*. Well, James gave a suggestion & l followed through & now it's subject to the approval of the comm. After all, l embarked on it w/o informing them.

Busied till late of the night... but woke up early to go meet yj. Gonna be late, may end up taking cab from Outram; yj bringing his friend to help out.

hehe... end of blog & I'm only at Clarke Quay =) how fast... & time-saving lol

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Back at home and actually still feel like blogging. ah budden? Spent a whole 6 hrs with yj designing and using the machine. v shiong (mentally). Now I know why archi students so stressed.

Anyway, we had lunner at engin canteen again, and chit chatted for quite some time. It's amazing how we derived a conclusion:

No matter what happens, seh （型） is the most important aspect.

Wear clothes must have seh, play games (esp in public places) must have seh, break up must have seh... People see the seh and nothing else.

Didn't I have the same discussion/conclusion with my tok-kok buddies some time ago?

I seem to have found people who agree with me the importance of seh. Great =)

Optimistic life starts with a view of self-importance. Peepz, let's live life with lotsa seh!

p/s: juz had a haircut for the new sem. 超 seh!

2006-08-02T23:52:00.000+08:00

杰诺一周

特派记者：杰诺

既《凤儿日报》登出四张引人遐想的照片后（下图），掀起满城风雨，大街小巷无人不在讨论这些照片所引发的绯闻。究竟这些照片是伪造还是真实的，众说纷纭。本报（唯一）记者特地搜集了所有小道消息以及报章报道来为各位忠实读者解除疑惑。

绯闻照（一）：表面的和平

西风：之前盛传美国总统小布和中国大使陈钦闹不和的传闻一律不攻自破。对于之前不和的传言陈钦澄清道：这是不可能的事！我才没有那个闲空去生他的气。

上天：在爆料这张照片所隐含的绯闻之前，本台必需大声耻笑友台X风卫视竟然把两个无名小卒当成美国总统和中国大使。哈哈哈！其实这张照片代表着社会的败坏。据本台从穿白衬衫的未成年少年陈钦了解，两人前一晚其实共度一宿。当时陈钦喝了小布（左一）请他喝的一杯饮料后便失去意识，醒来后才发现晚节不保。拍照时，小布坚持要他面带笑容，否则捏他的屁股，所以陈钦委屈妥协。可是其（不明部位）痛楚难耐，只好勉强微笑。陈钦的监护人已打算起诉小布。

香蕉：若鸡奸指控所实，那两人出示‘六’的手势又何谓？陈钦口供也爆料，当时他是邀请小布教他如何炒饭。据本报分析，小布一定误以为此炒饭为彼‘炒饭’，所以小布有何罪栽？相信‘六’的手势代表两人一晚炒饭的次数。

路人甲：拿背的！有影无？一晚六次？小布以为他是机器meh?

绯闻照（二）：家庭暴力

西风：小S产后复出，惊晓老公偷吃！

上天：上个周六惊传小S在餐厅怒掴丈夫？原来后者因取笑小S生产后身材大不如前，导致徐太后大发雷霆，怒斥：你说我肥？我让你尝尝爆肥的滋味！天真的小S还以为这样拉扯他的脸，脸就会肥起来。围观的人无不啼笑皆非。

香蕉：难道你们都瞎了吗？女的在微笑，男的十分陶醉，这就是他们炒饭的乐趣！

路人甲：拿背的！又炒饭？还在大庭广众之下炒？你以为美食节啊？

绯闻照（三）：EJ情未了

西风：正当大家都驻守在东京街头，期盼能再次捕捉到周候旅游的亲密照，本台终于发现周先生已弃东洋，转攻南洋：新加坡的牛车水！而且女主角非候主播，而是绯闻女友，女子团体S.H.E成员其中之一：Edlina!

上天：看来这赤道绿洲的饮食魅力还不小，两个曾经瘦骨如柴的小恋人，为爱私奔到海云漫漫的国度，竟然抵不住美食的诱惑，吃得珠圆玉润。想必吃胖了也吃（痴）呆了，竟然胆敢在热闹街头手牵手。难道他们不知道新加坡有个赫赫有名的GC？也难怪两人会被GC属下的《凤儿日报》抓包！

香蕉：据本报敏锐地观察到，照片左上角的石柱上贴着伽哩鸡，所以我们胆敢推测周董是去找火辣的伽哩‘鸡’（妓女俗称）炒饭，而照片中的女主角非Edlina，而是伽哩‘鸡’！

路人甲：拿背的！我只听过杨洲炒饭、新洲炒饭。。。新加坡有伽哩鸡炒饭meh？那个年轻人好像我认识的阿荣leh。我懂他像周董，但是你们真的拍错人了。阿荣人很好，不要害他。他只是带老人过马路而已。。。

绯闻照（四）：新神雕侠侣

西风：权仪凤在街头为母亲节特备节目《妈妈好不好》找人玩游戏，希望访问国人对于母亲的感言。录影时发生了一个小插曲：摄制组正要访问一对母子时，母亲却气冲冲地走掉。热情的儿子本来以为能够上电视，结果不成功。

上天：看来友台只会看图写作文，因为事情本非如此！那对男女其实是一对恋人！只是女的害羞让人发现他们的姐弟恋，所以落慌而逃。

香蕉：其实那个看起来乳嗅未干的男生是牛车水出了名的未成年牛郎。他这么积极地想上镜是为了宣传自己。

路人甲：对咯！那天我也在场。那女的说：神经病！你要我被警察抓啊？那个男的一定是underage。。。

待续。。。

2006-08-02T12:37:00.000+08:00

LB & Matric

Basically what I did for the past two days -- surrounding the working of LB and Matric Fair.

Went through 2 days of Matric, 2-hr slots. It was boring and boring. I can't understand why no one wanted to bother about me... Maybe my sales skills are really not on par with any other people who were present.

On Mon, after doing Matric, I went to LB comm meeting, basically a time when we made lofty ideas for the coming term. I believe that we will fulfill all we promised to do, but whether the reaction is satisfactory is another thing.

The meeting was at student's lounge and by the time I reached, Vic, wz and tC were already halfway into discussion. We scheduled all the celebration dates, had an outline of how we can include volunteer bonding sessions out of regular visits.

Basically, we wanted to make it as a 'We are friends doing volunteer work' theme, and not some 'I'm volunteering for the sake of volunteering', so we decided to work hard on realizing the former theme. I mean, in order for anybody to stay, friends usually play a big part. When a person has a friend who decides to stay, he will do so too.

And of course, there is the fun factor.

Volunteer must be fun/interesting and not seen as a routine/chore. Which was what we aimed to achieve too.

So, we decided we should do some AA stuff right from the start to make newcomers want to stay with us, which brings me to Tue...

After matric again, I went to clubrm to slack a bit, cos MPSH was darn warm. Helped the GAW people with... folding the leaves. haha... I will NOT risk dirtying my hands to help them starch the tree, k?

Then, it was off to Bras Basah for a shopping trip for an upcoming LB activity. Shall keep it a secret for now, if I (or any of the comm) can, cos showing what we did as a surprise is fun. You know, LB is supposed to be fun and chic le ;)

All I can say is that I spent an hour just to buy 2 stuff. Went to 2 shops and found the ideal target in the 2nd shop. Expensive, yes. I consulted Vic and tC (he not reliable lah, he everything also say he don't mind paying) about the price and we decided to spend some personal bucks for the sake of the greater good.

Next, I met up with the seller of my newly-acquired PDA, Palm Tungsten E. Was a big decision (too) considering the time factor and price. Tough. Had sort of a After-Big-Spending-Depression, in addition to the pressure of buying the correct stuff for the previous mission.

New Palm Tungsten E

Except for some scratches and the incessant buzz that was mentioned in most reviews, the machine worked out quite well and satisfactory. Spent the night adding in the contacts of some of my friends so that I will not forget their birthdays.

Then, I met up with kf for a short dinner at some V8 restaurant in Bugis Junction. Cheap and oily food. ha... But well, it's the company that counts. Somehow, having different friends and hanging out with them garners different kinds of feeling. Some made me feel comfortable, such that no matter whether I was doing the talking anot, I will feel some sort of bliss and security. Some make me feel happy and naughty. Some make me feel serious and heavy (NOT the literal sense).

Palm Tungsten E. No matter how the leather case is placed, the PDA still looked superb.

But all these friends are good friends, k? They compliment different parts of ME and make a better ME. hee...

Then it was home again, trying to orientate myself with my new E. Accepted a new tuition kid (teenager to b exact) and will start this sat.

Nice.

2006-07-31T21:38:00.000+08:00

患难见真情

我实在太感动了。

因为放弃SEP，所以得要求OSA给我一间PGP的房间。可是无情的OSA都不考虑我的个案，没考虑我住在偏远的榜鹅，把我放到毫无机会可言的WAITING LIST，而且还是没被优先考虑的INTERMEDIATE WAITING LIST。也就是说：我得到一间房的机会等于零。

向朋友求救后，有人愿意出租他家里的一间房给我，也有人问说是否能把他得到的校宿转名让给我。

我很实在地回答道我会拉下脸皮接受他的意见，因为我毕竟是为了学业而放弃SEP，也因而落得如此窘境。未能住得靠近学校，也就会影响我的学业。毕竟我前一年因为没住在学校而学业退步，所以我愿意尽我所能搬到靠近学校的地方。

虽然说转名的事宜成功率渺茫，但能有朋友肯为了我而作出这种打算，也就表示我们友谊的深厚。

我很感动。我很高兴。

有了好朋友，我会为了生活，为了学业加油。把懒惰虫打死，努力不懈，不让为我付出的朋友们失望。

=)

2006-07-31T13:48:00.000+08:00

I'm Thinking About My Life & Priorities...

Please don't blame me for this... After talking so much with so many people (I must have talked the last 4 years of my life combined), exchanging views and observing other people, I began to ponder over my own life. After all, it's one of the 2 times of the year (other than NY) that prompts students to make resolutions.

But well, actually, what should I think of? I guess my main aim is to kill (or at least weaken) the lazy bug in me. And then, through more interaction with other people, I can know how to restrict myself appropriately at times, verbally or action wise.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Went for Soka SD Orientation on Fri. The Reason for going was complex, but well, since the reason was for a good purpose, then it should not be that bad. After all, we had good company too.

In our group we had me, zin, LF, Luke, rx, tC and cb (bryan joined us later in the evening). We met at Clementi, where we distributed our identifiers for the day, made faithfully by tC into the night. Then it was off to the central forum where we had ice-breaker games with the other strangers joining the orientation.

SD identifier (front) Plaster wrapped in plastic for long-keeping.

It was standard fare, followed by a sort of internal hunt, though I didn't join in the puzzle solving. ha... I followed wherever the others went. Highlight was Poison River bah. Don't know why. It reminded me of the day when NEL broke down and I had to squeeze with a lot of people in the carriage or the day when 96 was trapped in a jam, with a bus load of people packed to the brim. Breathless, cold-sweating.

Then, we went for the Food Hunt. We started off to Clementi, the 1st station, where some 小插曲 happened. And then on the way, cb and I started the Nipple-Pinching Marathon again. It put all guys into defensive mode, including the OGL, whom barely knew us. He should feel honoured for getting molested ok...

We then took 7 to HV, where we searched for a balloon shop. We had lunch (sort of) at the hawker centre, where I ate orh jian. It was then I started to become a message relayer. Tired on one hand, glad that I was trusted on the other. But well, I can only say I did a good job relaying messages, though whether I helped resolved anything was secondary.

We then took some bus to Cine, where cb and I disturbed tC throughout the bus ride. Who asked him to NOT burst his pimple? Who asked him to have sensitive (physiologically, though for him, it means metaphorically too) ears?

At Cine, we searched for the white apple (ishop) and then had ice kacang to continue the food chain. It was then we turned the Nipple-Pinching Marathon to Caressing Marathon. No pain inflicted, just plain pleasure... hehe...

It was there I realized something too. All along, I thought I had a rather disgusting cackle (can't help it when I lose control), but I found out that rx had an equally (if not surpassing me) disgusting cackle. It happened when he attacked me on the escalator and I was more of in shock than in pain...

Then it was off to Harborfront, where bryan joined us. Had dinner there. ermz... What did we do...? We basically roamed the place before dinner in search of a food item that can help us link up the food chain... cb was happy reveling the fact about his new crush. After dinner, cb and Luke left. It was also where I was approached for info again.

It's really interesting. We touched on the topic of 热脸贴冷屁股. Long long ago, I had the same experience where I expressed friendliness after The Fight. I was met with a cold face. From then on, I gave up all attempts to make peace. Till lately, I realize that he didn't see me outside the bookshop smiling at him. Maybe we shouldn't 委屈 ourselves to 热脸贴冷屁股, but sometimes, it may not be a 冷屁股 we are 贴-ing, so it doesn't hurt to do it a few more times just in case.

After all, there's nothing to lose. That was what I told him.

SD identifier (back) There was an accompanying plaster that we wore for the event.

We proceeded to Pasir Panjang Food Centre for the last item. It was a place I had always wanted to eat at since my RV days (passing by on 176 2 times a day but never had the impulse to drop off and eat there). It's no longer visible from the road since Circle Line construction took place. We had the Chicken Fried Rice over there. Ended the day's work as Relayer, though as mentioned, it wasn't me who resolved everything.

We crossed the road to the SOKA Youth Centre, some place that I have passed by all these years but never give much thought about.

It was already drizzling as we crossed the road. It was the weirdest situation I got myself into in recent times. I want to be a friend, not a wedge, which was how I felt at that point of time. A wedge between 2 people on an apparent cold war was suppressing.

We watched SOKA performance and experience-sharing there, in the small function room. The ambience was nice, though it was a long time since I sat on the ground for extended period of time. Nothing super impressive nor super depressive.

rx's sharing session made me feel that the Reason for attending was fulfilled. We didn't waste our time going down as a group to accompany tC and it was the 1st time in ages since we actively included rx in GC's crazy antics. A tiring day with 2 fulfilling accomplishments.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Slept late, so I pontang Touch City Walk held in the crazy hour of 7am.

Went to meet up with Ma'ats after their walk for lunch at Funan food court. Lingered around the area before tC, cb and me set off for LB.

LB was rather low-key today, despite being an 'orientation visit' after the City Walk where KCs were supposedly to have helped disseminate this fact. But well...

Visited blind sisters and uncle lee. hmmm... I'm still not up to standard, but my focus is supposed to be on volunteers, yar? The hokkien group had me, wz, cal, cb and weijian from gp2. Uncle lee proclaimed that it was wonderous that kids as young as cb and wj could be studying in uni and all of us laughed. Well, is it a blessing to b with the outlook of a kid or not?

Met up with bryan, LF and Joyce at Lucky Chinatown (they rotted while we went for LB) and had a GS interview for Joyce. She came with a supposedly Grade A gossip in her resume to offer us. The 'interview' went on while we had KTV at a Ten-dollar KTV Lounge (ed joined us) and after that, where we had a short talk at Chinatown Point Mac with km.

What I learned from the interview? Never to relate to the interviewee as to how they fared. When they have an idea of their standing, we'll never be able to keep the ball in our court. Be it they are telling us a Grade A++ news or an out-dated Grade C news, interviewers should keep the reactions to themselves. No use leading them on when the above rule was broken.

This is to safeguard the safety of all our members and the existence of the Club (organization, in a broader term).

Gossiping is, after all, an official underground activity that a lot of victims detest (even though they enjoy in sharing other people's gossips).

Joyce failed her psychometric and integrity test too. Whether she makes it into the List is still open for discussion with other members.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It's a bit tough trying to blog relevant to the title. This segment is, in fact, written 12 hours after the 1st few parts and I've not a single idea how to continue or make an ending.

Been troubled by certain stuff these days, these few weeks. Or do I? Maybe to certain people, I'm still living life nonchalantly as before.

Whiling my time away with people I most enjoy the company.

Be it short term or long term, it has been a long time since I feel so included, so I might as well immerse in it.

Yes, I do need to be wanted and included. I guess that's what most humans desire. There are those who are able to give just as well as they receive (if not more) and some who just receives more than they give. Some, they demand and demand.

Why do people keep demanding stuff they don't make an effort in getting? Why do people choose to live life pessimistically, keeping themselves in the dark fringes of life when they could have done something?

Years ago, watched Andy Lau's movie Li Gu Li Gu Xin Nian Cai. It was a comedy, but there was a good quote:

It doesn't matter whether you have a set of bad tiles; it's how you play the tiles. As long as you do your best, you are playing a good game.

I believe I lead a life of damnity, but I know I shouldn't wallow in self-pity. Cos after all the endless rounds of self-pity, I'm still in as bad a situation I was in. Ok, I once led a life of self-pity, that was how I know it's not constructive. As I've said (a dozen times before), it made me waste 4 years of my life.

But even though I stopped engaging in self-pity, I still wasted a year plus procrastinating and stuff like that.

But I know my next step is: to take a step.

Then the next.

And the next.

So, I must get rid of the lazy bug in me and get going. It's my weakness. I know I sometimes demand a lot, but at least I appreciate the fact that I won't get anything when I don't put in effort, so I just demand for ventilation sake.

I once told 00S60 during an intro: I'm 17 this year and it is unique, cos it's the only 17 I'm gonna lead.

Half of my 22 is gone and it was wasted doing stuff that had no long-term constructive impact on my life. I need to make it a good one before it ends.

From 17, my life will restart again at 22.

Dear friends, please make full use of your 18s, 19s, 20s, and 21s. Cos for what I lost, I hope you guys cherish it.

Live life optimistically and those who do are the ones whom I stick to more, cos I no longer want to be pulled into the abyss of pessimism.

Shall make my half-yearly resolutions soon.

2006-07-27T12:03:00.000+08:00

Wednesday

Went for CSL last night. It was a normally weird night. After talking to sh & zw for 6 hours straight, I was a bit tired and I sound less excited, hyper than usual.

Met gam on the way into the hall and we started talking. Politics, sort of, except that there were no scandals/gossip involved. I supposed that since he's such a 'holy' person, I'll spare him the details.

Like the reasons why I was unhappy with his choice of his successor.

Yes, she is active and her attendance is almost perfect. But her 出发点 was not for the kids, for all I know.

All these boiled down to the fundamental questions I raised with many people: Do we want a person with the mind to lead or with the heart to lead?

Raymond was rather obedient that day, though he was still as impatient with me. All I had to do was to go through his english assessment and then he scooted off. I asked him if he really loathed seeing me and he replied that all he wanted to is to sleep.

hmmmm...

Since I had a lot of time, I lingered around and helped gam's kid (shihui) with her 听写. During which, Justin came and showed me some pictures he drew. Something from pokemon. And then, he re-drew one of the pic that I said was cutest and gave it to me (ok, I demanded that he drew one for me...).

pic from justin

Kids like to give us stuff, but this is the first non-food gift I ever received from a kid. Not my kid some more. At least for this, I can keep it for the keepsake.

And then, I also helped another kid, Raymond's sister, with a problem sum. That's all. I guess intelligence runs in the family bah, cos his sis was just as capable academically. Except that Raymond is a tad too lazy.

Then it's home, where gam tried talking to me on the way. I mean, he only meant to say: I do hope that despite sf being the chair, you will still be in the comm to help out.

Funny. I also wonder why both LB and CSL wants me to be welfare (demote from vice some more). I never know I have the charm or something. If so, why don't I join MC welfare instead. Got CCA points (unlike RVP one) for my Yr4 application to PGP.

But well, I don't know a lot of people in CSC, so it will defeat the purpose. kaoz... later organize activities and no one come how?

When gam said I had the charisma (in front of AL), I nearly vomit. At the same time, I was gleeful... Who don't feel happy when he receives compliments?

That's all for today. A normally, peaceful day.

2006-07-26T00:21:00.000+08:00

2 Major Decisions

Made 2 decisions last wed, 2 seemingly unrelated decisions. I told some close friends about one or the other le. There are other close friends whom I can't find a good chance to relate to. But well, this is what blogs are for. You create a chance so friends can make use of the chance. ~sidetrack, nvm~

1st, I decided to withdraw from SEP. Understanding friends should know how much I desire to go for SEP. I don't know how to go about explaining why I desire to go, but the fact is, I desire.

But as what is quoted from Gattaca: You try so hard to get away from a place and when you do, you find a reason to stay.

I found a few reasons, which could be collectively made as a reason. No matter how I phrase it, anybody will be offended.

You see, at the point of applying for SEP last oct, I had nothing to lose. I had friends with such close ties that I know nothing will affect our friendship whether anot I go away. You guys, are not my reason for staying. You can be happy, you can be sad, depending on how you see it.

But after I applied for SEP, people came and filled my life. Some touched my heart, some just disappeared. But there are some whom I believe can last for my lifetime and yet I have so little time for them before I leave them.

Relationships (this is a collective term, cos I know some people narrow-mindedly refers r/s as BGR) at this infant stage needs time to nurture and can go awry before you realize. Do I leave and risk losing some of the relationships or do I stay, though good results are not guaranteed?

And then, there are the official reasons that I gave to OSA, reasons that reflect my thoughts, but modified to be 'official'.

CCA, and CAP.

I need to pull my CAP up. If I forgo this sem, I forgo an opportunity to pull it up.

The repercussions of this decision is to apply for withdrawal and asking OSA for a place in PGP. Get a place before school starts and so I can start to mug for my CAP.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

2nd decision was the tacit agreement with someone to end the courtship. Courtship --> I don't even have a better name for it. We're not officially together, but we were together. oh well...

We met, she asked me some questions and showed me her diary.

She said she don't understand me anymore, but frankly speaking, I don't understand her too, right from the start. Which was why I said, right from the start, that we should work towards understanding each other. No hurry to be lovers, cos understanding is the 2nd most important factor in BGR.

She hid her feelings and thoughts, wrote it down in a diary and showed it to me and... should I have hugged her and cried/kissed her, as suggested by tC?

She said I made her wait for my sms. I never give a thought about sms cos they were something so trivial. Everybody knows that sms could not be trusted to be on time. I received an sms (hp showed: 1 message received), and while opening that sms, I saw her sms appearing next in line. But when I went back to the inbox, the sms was no longer there.

So I sms her to resend the sms. In her diary, she said she sent that sms 4 days ago. She griped that 1) I don't reply her sms, 2) I lost her sms.

But of cos, she lamented that I never replied her other sms with stuff like: I'm going off to sleep le, gd nite. She lamented that I don't sms her often enough. She lamented that I don't have her in my mind.

She griped (diary) that I didn't ask her out again after I got rejected in March. She said (diary) that I was not active enough all these while, but no, she don't want to take the initiative. On the other hand, she kept telling me she was not confident to accept me. She told me to not wait for her and should I find someone2, I should go ahead and get her. She told me she was too boring so I should consider giving her up.

She said I don't have her in my mind cos I am going for SEP. And that if I have her on my mind, I would not have applied for it (there is a difference between the 2 sentences, don't pick on it).

How am I gonna fend for myself? At the point of application, she was with R. I didn't see ourselves together in the near future.

Now?

I am a super-rational person, so I weigh all my options from a 3rd party's point of view. I know my desire to go on SEP, the childhood desire to go overseas for studies, is so immense that one r/s that's hanging in the air is not going to stop me. Why should I forgo a childhood dream when no one's gonna commit to me? And cos of this, I would rather everything remains as status quo when I leave, cos I don't want her to commit to me and yet I am gone so she has to wait for me.

It's unfair for me to give up a dream for her undecided love, and unfair for her to wait for me.

So why not let everything stays as it is? After all, right from the start, I said that we should start building on our understanding, no rush to be lovers.

So yes, she was not the sole reason that I gave up SEP, but she was one of the considering factors when I did. ie when I did consider giving up SEP, she was one of the reasons.

She said that she don't (note the present tense) believe the lyrics that I wrote for another friend (《暗箭》) wasn't me trying to hint to her that I had some misforgivings about her. I explained to her that it WASN'T and that the intro before the lyrics explained the rationale why I wrote it, which was that I was backstabbed recently (go read it through the link).

She don't believe there could be such a coincidence. I don't believe there is a coincidence in the 1st place. I explained to her before and she chose not to believe me.

She asked me whether I fell in love with any girl from E3. I said no. She apparently doubted my answer.

If falling in love is easy, then I wouldn't have been so serious with a girl for the 1st time in my life; I wouldn't have 90% of my close friends as girls and not falling for any of them.

When I told chio bu about this part, he simply commented: huh? I don't even think you will lie for such a serious thing lor. Even amanda, with whom my acquaintance did not match the GC, knew I am a bad liar. I hide things, yes, but I can't lie.

Now comes to the 1st building block of r/s (collective term): Trust. Fact: GC guys trust me. I keep the gossips that I was told to keep a secret a secret. and I only knew them for slightly more than a month. I weighed my options correctly and I was right to make a big sacrifice for them.

But still, it doesn't mean that I didn't even put her in consideration. Believe it or not, 任君选择.

Girls tell me it's the job of men to decipher women's thoughts, to pamper them and shower them with all the attention you can give.

I tell them it's no wonder the number of gays is rising.

As I've mentioned in the previous post, what I'm looking for is a lifelong partner, not a pet. I'm looking to build a binary star system and not a single-focus universe. If you look at old couples and ask them what they gained from their r/s, it's the accompaniment and NOT the superficial stuff that they used to do to show their affection for each other.

Yes, I do admit that I did not spend enough time for her.

I do admit that I failed to fulfil the 'promises' I made. But... we didn't even start proper for me to fulfil the promises.

I do admit that I was indignant at being viewed as a low-class, superficial, insincere, primal, insensitive and no-heart entity. Maybe there are a lot of people out there who also viewed me as such, but I do not think I am.

But because I have such a high esteem of myself (not excluding the fact that I'm selfish, and how spiteful I sound now), I do not think I should force someone to continue trying to accept me.

Friends can do just as well.

After all, 90% of my close friends are girls.

And yar, more and more guys are turning gays. Maybe I should go take a Q number.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I had a very long and thorough talk with zw and sh on wed, and spent a lot of time talking about the above.

Conclusion: I am not mature enough for someone, yes. I do not fit the bill.

2006-07-23T00:00:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday To 丘羽

On your 1st birthday since I knew you, the Chicken Clan hiked to your house under the MRT track to surprise you with a KFC meal and watching 孤男寡女 on VCD. You silently told me at that point of time that you didn't like KFC. I know, and I was very guilty that I forgot about it.

On your 2nd birthday since I knew you, we had fallen out with each other. My conductress's birthday fell on the same day as you, and I remembered the choir celebrating her birthday in the AVA theatre while I excused myself to the washroom. How can I celebrate another person's birthday (no matter how much I respect her) while I don't even pass a greeting to you?

On your 3rd birthday since I knew you, I was recovering from a serious illness. The illness took away all my energy and gradually sapped me of my memories of the past, including you.

On your 4th birthday since I knew you, I stepped onto Tekong once again for BMT recourse. When I told Youjie about the date some time before, he paused for a while but didn't say anything at all. I knew he recalled you and was refraining himself from mentioning you in front of me. But... my father's death took away whatever will I had to live on, and I was a floating entity.

On your 5th birthday since I knew you, we were about to start our new lives as civilians. You were flying to Toronto and I was staying put. We celebrated your birthday at Secret Recipe at Plaza Singapura. We talked as if nothing had happened, or was it something had happened? We still talked, nonetheless. A sort of familiarity across a vast distance.

On your 6th birthday since I met you, I was down with a fever. After the fever, life took another turn for me. Finally realizing that I am not up to it academically, I turned to the superficial appeal. Finally, after falling from grace 3 years back, I found a new identity.

On this 7th birthday since I met you, I had sent the letter of apology and we cleared the air between us. I know the next time we meet will be an awkward situation because we'll be facing each other under a different circumstance.

Not like the heart-to-heart chat we had at the bench below the library; not like the cross-talk over campfire at Ban Muangna. Not like the Cold War awkwardness at Pizza Hut where I was sandwiched between you and Youjie; not like the nonchalent crapping at PS; not like the silence that fell between us for 5 years.

How do we go from then?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I know I'm being cliche and un-creative but the 2 lyrics below were written especially for the cause of our friendship. One was a commemeration of the friendship between the 2 of us, and the other a lament for the broken ties.

My friend, my friend, we have known each other for 6 and a half years, of these, 5 and a half years apart (socially and geographically). Somehow, I still feel we could have did something better out of this friendship.

《聚离》

词：冷夜（翻自：终身美丽/不能承受的感动）

黎明前一分钟日和夜的交错

屋顶上你我看草地渐渐染红

你用一双最真挚的手牵引我每次感动

陪我走一段绚丽的彩虹

我会为你收留刹那眼角的闪烁

当你回头看我这份爱是否依旧

无奈我们离别了以后青草地不再染红

回忆只留那一分钟问离别是否太冲动

这一刻你的心情是否有我一样说不尽

我以万根手指感应在日出你我的呼吸

我们永远在一起就算黑夜见不到天明

这一刻你是否想起回忆里面的痕迹

只留下最初的点滴激情

黄昏前一分钟你和我再相逢

夕阳下你我已不见往日笑容

我们没开口我的心却只是凝望着你就微微颤抖

你终于哭着说

朋友那时离别是太冲动

这一刻你的心情是否有我一样说不尽

我以万根手指感应在日出你我的呼吸

我们永远在一起谁说黑夜见不到天明

这一刻你是否想起握着幸福的手心

只剩下最初的点滴激情

这一刻我不会忘记万般等待的美丽

你是否也感觉到我的用心

Started on Feb 2001, completed on Nov 2002

《秋雨》

词：冷叶（翻自：花园）

微风带来你微笑的双眼

回忆不再是孤独到永远

你用温柔洗去我心中遍地落叶

无论度过多少黑夜都会有晴天

朋友不单是阳光的季节

一句话也能够让伊甸幻灭

如果未来已注定充满荆棘危险

地平线就是旅途的终点

祈祷幸福别走远

给我勇气实现我的诺言

祈祷秋天别走远

给我时间实现你的心愿

才发现我的泪不经意洒满天

化成雨灌溉你我的心田

永远只属于两条平行线

没聚点才不会越走越远

可是没有微风如何拾去落叶

地平线只是美丽的误会

祈祷幸福别走远

给我勇气实现我的诺言

祈祷秋天别走远

给我时间实现你的心愿

才发现我的泪不经意洒满天

化成雨灌溉你我的心田

期待明天还能够默默拥抱这感觉

就算秋雨再多狂再多冷也要用心去体会

Completed on 23 Nov 2005

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Since writing lyrics is so uncreative and so passive, I thought I would do something more practical. Then I remembered something Youjie reveled to me on our outing last fri: making pasta.

He was buying some spaghetti to go home and try cooking, in preparation for his SEP life for next 4 months. So I was thinking: yup, pasta is one of the easiest food to prepare, if we do not include the pasta sauce, which can be bought ready in NTUC.

But then, I was contemplating over how I should go about preparing, cos I know my mum will definitely scream at me. I procrastinated and procrastinated till I finished my afternoon nap where I did a virtual run of the cooking process in my sleep.

My ingredients are super simple: Fuscilli, Pasta Sauce, Minced Chicken Meat and Diced Mushroom. Voila! ok lah, it's not as easy as I thought.

1st precaution: DO NOT BELIEVE THE INSTRUCTIONS ON THE PACKAGE OF THE PASTA.

nabeh... it said boil for 7 min and the end product was still tough and hard, machiam maggi mee in BOILED water a la army style.

Make it 9 min, medium-high heat.

2nd precaution: Never have mum around. She makes me feel like an ID.

She took over when I was trying to open the can of mushrooms, she took over when I was trying to fry the chicken and she took over to wash the kwali (only this was what I was grateful for).

So, prepare to cook while boiling the pasta. Heat the pan, pour the oil, add the garlic, nabeh... forgot what else...

oh... 3rd precaution: The ready-minced chicken from NTUC has a layer of paper below it. Be sure not to add it in when you dump the chicken into the pan.

No, I DIDN'T forget about the paper, k...

Stir-fry, then add the sauce. Then the mushroom. Then let it simmer while you drain the pasta.

Dump everything into the kwali and stir-fry till it's not watery, a la NUS Biz Canteen style.

And then the more easy, poser part, which is to prepare to eat:

20-min pasta...

Lessons learnt:

-+ Add in green capsicum the next time round, cos my pasta today looked like a bloody mess.

-+ Add pepper, cos I like the peppery taste.

-+ Use sliced sausage rather than chicken. Chicken, you risk it uncooked. Sausages, you only risk it chao-tar. ie: instead of cooking chicken 1st then the others, everything (sausage, mushroom and sauce) can be dumped in together.

And this dish is for my friend in Toronto, though I suppose he could be getting sick of it after all these years.

It seemed like 拜拜, but well, it's the thought that counts. For a serving of 4, I helped eat his share.

And nabeh... i thought pasta was easy to prepare. Budden, 20 min is short enough (eliminating shopping time).

Next time, shall try to make the sauce from scratch.

Maybe next time = next year...

2006-07-21T23:44:00.000+08:00

Ma'at's Full-Month Pic

Man Yue Zhao

What do we have? A collage since the attendance was not full. Special thanks to LF who did it.

On one hand we have the guys who made it and those who ps us. Don't know how LF enlarged my head, but i sure do look cute, for once. Was in that pose cos we started the Nipple-Twisting Game again, and I was in defensive mode.

Beside me was cb, in his fav singlet-shorts attire (legs so short, we always thought he was wearing pants). Then it was yanrui with her pregnant lady bag. Then it was tC in his oversized OP t-shirt (and nothing else, apparently. was at 1st wondering what 僵尸 clothes he wearing in the pic...).

Below is ermz... shuohan with his peacock style (??) and LF made herself into Trinity (how self-deceiving). Then it was km, cos he made 20 red eggs for us to eat on Full Month. Or rather, he produced the eggs while his aunt visited him. But LF dear, that red thing on km's head means he's a cock (pun intended), how can cock produce eggs? And then it's Joyce, who joined us at the 11th hour at Crystal Jade, Suntec, to share the eggs.

Below were the pang-seh-ers, with their reason for pang seh-ing the Full Month Celebration at Settler's and Crystal Jade.

Derui said he got NDP (but isn't it at night?), zin said her mum was sick (so what's with the stick figures around her?), gilb had bridge training, glenn was at medi-camp (was that a Black Cross on his tent?? aiyoh... dun go to glenn in the future), sin en went shopping with her mum (her mum machiam maid in the pic, and an abused maid -- so skinny...).

Kit said she need to clean up Geog Soc room (what's she doing with the pillow then?) and that her bf was free. So what if her bf was free? Ask him to potong then act as Kit then we consider.

Viv, the Nua Queen, said she wanted to stay at home and think about some stuff (2006 Most Sweat-Inducing Reason Of The Year Award). Bryan was sleeping (knn...), ed was at the esplanade watching performance (not that she was wearing durian bras) and lastly, rx transformed into Cyber-Sadako. No lah... he told cb he was sick, told tC he wanted to send his PC for repair. tsk! tsk! climb out of his computer, no wonder it spoil lah...

The others, well, they MIA so well that they appear invisible in the pic. yar... MIA literally...

2006-07-19T22:30:00.000+08:00

Once In 14 Years Trip

It's rare to have friends whom you have known in 14 years (while you ARE NOT a lao kokok), and 14 years means 2 x "7 years itch".

Aniway, after a whole year of planning, cancelling, procrastinating, planning, procrastinating... we finally settled a day to go o'c, 4 days before departure. And our destination? Getaway to Bintan Agro Resort, from 15 - 16 July 2006.

We took the ferry thinking that it would take 45 min, but it was twice as long. It was full play of kiasu spirit trying to get onto the ferry cos it was free seating.

Just outside the customs, we found the counter for Agro and the girl tpok us to take the van to the resort.

On the van, to resort

It was another half an hour snaking through the build-up area and through the fields. After all, Agro is NOT a beach resort; it's a plantation resort. In fact, it was smacked in the middle of nowhere and the air was very fresh.

at the lobby entrance

The staff was very prepared and before I even uttered my name, he fished out our keys and proceeded with the check in. For a resort with no 5-star facilities, it has 5-star service, which extended throughout our stay.

Lobby

Our impression was like: it seemed we were the only few in the resort, served by a worker-to-customer ratio of 10:1, so much so we wondered how they managed to keep afloat and maintain the resort.

Lobby's bar

The staff were always available, and upon request, 2 drivers were sent to drive us to our abode on 2 tricycles. On the way, the drivers doubled as a local guide, who drove us around the resort and introduced us the activities that could be done. Unfortunately, most were not what we'd do, like golf and fishing.

Just outside our residence

We were rather fascinated, cos it was our first time taking the mode of transport. So much so we kept taking pix with it. haha... and the drivers were so kind to indulge us in it too. At that point of time, we really believed we were the only guests there.

A pic outside our residence

The room was spacious, with a single queen sized bed. We had 2 rooms. Even then, the guys' room had a 12-inch TV rather than the 32-inch the gals had. Hot shower and air-con provided and the window opened out to the verandah equipped with benches for guests from adjacent rooms to chat.

And did I mention we had a great country view (boy do I sound like Samantha Brown...)?

Corridor

After settling down, we proceeded to find the swimming pool to see if we could do some tanning. But the clouds were daunting. We cut across a plantation via a little 羊肠小道, lined with yellow roses amidst rambutan trees.

kf even plucked one rambutan and ate it in the spot.

Me and jing

The pool was like, ermz, ok for people who are not picky. Well, if you LOVE swimming in the sea, then you would have loved swimming in the pool amidst the algae and other unknown precipitates. We ended up playing in the water the next day, though dipping out heads into the water was a taboo...

Me and kf beside the pool

We then walked to have our dinner. The resort was so small that it was walkable, except by night, cos there was minimum street lightings. The restaurant offered stuff like the zhee-char stalls we have back here. The best stuff was the fruit juices, so fresh, you will have to peel it on your own.

Simple meal...

Believe it or not, I ate the above for dinner.

NOT!

In addition to those above.

I dined with a dark-eyeringed ghost...

Outside 'Kampong'

We then had an after-dinner phototaking (there really wasn't much to do there...). We took pix of other residences. There were Kampongs, manadao and cottages. We lived in the mediteranean, which at the point of booking, I though was a safe choice. It was a right choice indeed, cos at dinner, a whole swarm of PRC tourists flocked and stayed in the Kampongs.

After-dinner photo-taking

We walked around the resort again, till the sun went down. We were trying to walk off our full dinner, cos we intended to go spa at night. We went back to our rooms to wash up and called the lobby to send us over. This time round, we were transported on a jeep, something like a GP car.

We all agreed the spa was worth out effort to go all the way here. Even though the end cost of ferry+accom was equivalant to the cost of having spa at S'pore, the service was over the top. We believed it was cos we were like VIPs to them, such that they treated us as good as they could. And not to add the scenery, fresh air , experience and isolation from normal work and stress that money can't buy at home.

I must admit it was my 1st time having a spa treatment and I was blur like sotong. The jacuzzi, however, seemed lacklustre and the masseuse's only vocabs were: Excuse and me. I was stifling my urge to giggle throughout, cos I'm someone who's VERY AFRAID of tickles. hmmm... not to mention the massage of inner thighs. I nearly broke into laughter.

Many guys thought I would have shown some bio-rxn, but believe me, the tickles was more over-powering than the weird sensation of a 3rd party's hands hovering over the sensitive areas.

But well, now I know why Cleo and Teenage insists that the inner thighs were erotic regions...

Harassing the figurine outside our residence

After our massage, we had foot reflexology, cos we need to pass our time while jing finish her milk bath. Then, we had the driver send us to lobby, where we ordered our supper (room svc) and back to our rooms. ha... 1st time I had room service lol

Supper

It didn't look much, but we ate like a lot. We had spring rolls, calamari (they called: breaded squids) and tauhu-goreng Indonesian version. The tauhu was especially interesting, cos it tasted normal at 1st, while the terrible, super-duper spiciness surface. All while watching a Stephen Chow's show.

Then, we played cards, along with MP3. Then, we slept. We were too tired to go back to our rooms, so the 4 of us squeezed onto the bed. Believe me, kf could haf squeezed with us and not sleep at the foot of the bed, cos er-hem... was literally clinging onto me the whole night, leaving a big space between her and jing.

oops, did I reveal er-hem's identity?

And I woke up freezing, cos er-hem was sapping me of my heat the whole night...

After a night of jolly...

Morning was simple fare, as in it's not intercontinental buffet. But we had fried rice, fried beehoon, sweet and sour fish, kangkong, a dish that was a combination of laksa and prawn mee (minus the spiciness), toasts, coffee and a funny-tasting kueh.

Very un-breakfast.

We went to the pool to sun tan and played around with the water for 2 hours.

Then we walked back to rooms, I dozed off for a while, and we went back to the lobby where we played cards over Iced-longans.

What's left of our breakfast

Then, we shopped at the souvenir shop and then had the staff drove us back again. cos it was sunny, cos they bought a lot of stuff.

Gp photo on the way to check out.

We slacked again in our rooms, watching Channel 8 and dozing off while waiting to check out. We were ferried to the ferry point and then we shopped again there, though it was a grab-and-go affair.

We couldn't squeeze onto the ferry in time, and had to camp on the deck of the ferry, exposed to the natural elements, including the sun that I got so much of from the past few days.

On the ferry back home..

Finally, it was back to home ground, but our getaway didn't end there. We taxied ourselves to Harborfront where we had dinner at Coffee Club. VERY NICE dinner. I guess that has become our favourite spot after Swensen's at WTC and CTP.

2006-07-18T00:45:00.000+08:00

《八卦部落》

I know I have been spending too much time on GC and related stuff (Ma'at & GC so overlapping). But well, I get the self satisfaction (自 high）from all the little effort I put in to make it more interesting. After all, scandals are running dry... lol

And yar, sorry for stef fans, cos for both of the songs I used, all were converted to parodies. It's just that her songs are more catchy for such purposes... *bleah!*

《八卦部落》

词：冷叶（翻自：梦不落）

抛开所有禁忌开启创作引擎

一垒二垒下个是你

要追溯半个世纪所有可能机率

记住八卦不是罪行

只要有消息我们就会关心

如果有眩机我们一定问到底

人生太迷离需要认真研习

相对论阴谋论要调查

是暧昧是朋友？

抛开所有禁忌开启创作引擎

一垒二垒下个是你

要追溯半个世纪所有可能机率

记住八卦不是罪行

谁在耍心机谁又Act Cute 到腻

谁又在街上被怪伯伯摸屁屁

动用SNG 搜集小道消息

小动作双关语要调查

放长线钓大鱼

所有的话题没有边际冲刺极限创意

正面侧面翻转论理

将绯闻尽情传递掀起满城风雨

记住八卦也有道行

手拿部落杖才能盘问分享

所有人都怕八卦的力量

Leave no news behind

Spread all news in kind

Always bear in mind

You’ll be next in line

抛开所有禁忌开启创作引擎

一垒二垒下个是你

要追溯半个世纪所有可能机率

记住八卦不是罪行

所有的话题没有边际冲刺极限创意

正面侧面翻转论理

将绯闻尽情传递掀起满城风雨

记住八卦也有道行

2006-07-16T23:49:00.000+08:00

GC GC GC

OMG...

1st thing I came back from my short getaway (shall blog abt it after I get the photos) was to see the continuation of GC's motto:

Leave no news behind
Spread all news in kind
Always bear in mind
You'll be next in line

The 1st line was from tC when he tagged me. Basically, he was outlining the activity of GC.

The 2nd line, came up by me, was a vision, cos I know gossip is a beautiful sin committed by the majority of the population. If we were to get going on 'formalizing' it, we gotta package gossiping into something good, like a social science. ha... Mind stimulation activity. Holify gossip.

The last 2 lines by LF was factual. Too darned factual. It's just so tempting to gossip about a person when he/she is not around. ah but why? 1st, we want to know whether our opinion of the person is warped or shared. We are humans, and we wanna know if we are odd one out wrt our opinions.

Then, we share our experience.

Then, then, we keep quiet. haha... That's our creed, yar?

Actually, I don't know why.

Most of our gossip are kept from the lead. One reason was we need investigation (We are not paparazzi leh, we substantiate our news with twisted theories). Another, our motto. We must Spread all news in kind. Usually, the kindest thing we can do for the lead(s) was to keep quiet. hee...

I suppose lah.

Actually, I'm more into bitching than gossiping. I'm unlike my PR who acts as SNG for the club. During GS, I'm more passive than active. I only help to relay info that other members might have missed out in previous GSes and give my opinions, which at most time, cos of my science background, seemed weak and ignorable (think cb when he gave his theory outside clubroom, that's GOOD).

Bitching, on the other hand, means scolding a person. It comes more naturally, cos I need not think of rationales to make my stand. I just scold and scold to get the satisfaction out of putting my dissatisfaction towards a person into words (x2 level of satisfaction when directing to a 3rd party who knows my target). Whether anot it's constructive is insignificant. I am the one ventilating lol

But gossip is more enticing. I can only bitch when I'm angry with a person, but I can join in gossips almost anytime when there's a session. I'm an auditory person, meaning that I too can get satisfaction from listening to tales from other people, whether they are 1st or 3rd-party views.

My life is bland, so I want to hear other people's stories. Fact or fiction, nevermind. Best if there are twists and different sides of stories... keke... I LOVE DRAMA.

I searched for the definition of 'gossip' on google (type 'define gossip') and I found so many descriptions for the act of gossip that fit our activities very well. In fact, GC should include the web findings on the definition of gossip as our guidelines too. lol

arh... What more? GC is filling my life and I don't have much to say about it. It just goes to show how 没有主见 I am. oh well, I'm trying to be humble, can? Can't shine like superstar all the time.

*giggle until like vibrator*

2006-07-15T02:03:00.000+08:00

GC Investiture

But first, the shopping trip with cb. It was funny at first (considering how I'm afraid of 冷场), but after cb told me he called me out cos he wants me to be his consultant, things went smoothly.

Yep, I was a bit narcissistic. When he told me that he asked me that cos he thought he could trust my fashion sense, I was over the hill. ha... But little did he know that my fashion sense was more of a 'selfish' sense, cos it was tailored to my needs, the need to look slim. But well, I did my best to give him comments.

But no, I wasn't a consultant consultant, but one whom may give him a second opinion when he was lost.

Into the 1st shop, a gift shop, we were attracted to a set of pens that bore the shapes of hands making different signs. We hit creativity jackpot and bought the whole set of signs of crossed fingers with 6 colours, a token for everybody in GC.

I liked orange and cb loved blue. tC got purple and vivian pink. Yellow and green was reserved for LF and zin, but the latter got the darker of the two cos of the shade of her skin. (wow! a poem! haha... ok, a limerick)

Further along the way, we found that we had to buy more pens for more members and that meant repeated colours. So we decided to label the pens and went to source for cards and ribbons. We even resorted to borrowing the gift shop's puncher and scissors and 'testing' pens from Popular. And then just outside Popular, we settled down and tied the cards to the pens, which we called our Club Identifiers.

The Crossed Fingers

Sad to say, only tC and LF bothered to come. A GC investiture became a 4-man gathering and the giving out of the identifiers seemed pathetic. I was sad of cos, cos GC was just a fun thing that few took seriously, did they?

Maybe cb and I really took it too seriously le. But thankfully, LF and tC were appreciative of it.

The Back

The identifier (or Cross, as the sign symbolized), in hand, gives the member the authority to question, interrogate and listen to other members. It symbolizes the creed of the club to keep secrets of gossip within the club (those who hold the Cross) and to make us bear in mind that gossip is for the sole purpose of entertainment and not personal attack.

The Cross also reminds us of our motto: Leave no news behind, Spread all news in kind.

The card attached to the Cross bears the words: Imagination is the first step of Creation.

Imagination

Well, all scandals developed from GC were all from our imagination. From then on, it's free discussion and investigation; to prove a theory or overthrow a hypothesis.

It's gossip down to a science, a social science lol

The gossip session after investiture was fun too, with tC happily answering our trick questions without even realizing our intention. He said he was clever, well, we'll see.

After cb left for his clubbing session, the Cross was put into extremely good use by the hosts of 《叶描越黄》(me n LF, tho the initial title was《叶黑凤高》) -- tC carelessly dropped a clue that got us very excited.

Grade A gossip, total standalone, not related to zin's theory nor cb's hypothesises, but not allowed in this blog. Not cos me nor you are not holding on to the Cross, but cos the Cross only entitles holders to listen, not read gossips, yar? For the Grade A gossip, please attend the next GS.

We also gossiped about bryan. haha... I believe he won't read my blog for the next thousand years unless I ask him to, so I'm gonna declare that we gossiped about him. lol The danger of skipping a GS is that YOU could be the lead of the next gossip ;)

Next in line is Nua Queen.

People may wonder, why am I the Prez of GC? I told aminah le, and she agreed (in disgust) that I deserved the post. haha... No one else shall know the secret to success, cos if they do, I'll be overthrowned.

Aminah will bring my secret to her grave.

2006-07-14T00:19:00.000+08:00

Ma'at's Water Sports Day

Actually not much of a Ma'at outing, cos all in all, only 4 guys went to the JE swimming complex to play with the water.

We played the slides, which got us dizzy cos of the way the slides make us sway. I went twice on the blue slide (highest), where at the 2nd time, my float got dislodged halfway and my left butt cheek was bua-ing the rough surface of the slide for the remaining part.

The red slide, medium height was so-so. Less kick in terms of time-playing than the blue slide, and not exciting than the next slide:

The yellow slide. It was one that required no floats and it featured a near-vertical drop (ok, it was my personal opinion. It was actually about 60 deg bah) that was so harrowing. I went down thrice and could still not overcome the fear of sliding down, cos it was so... vertical.

Then, we played at the wave pool. Then we played at the lazy river, going around 6-7 times where I injured my left ankle (yet again). I was worried I finally broke my bone, but since the pain has subsided to a milder, numbing pain, I think everything is ok.

Then we lazed at the jacuzzi area till km arrived. We found lots of uses for the jets. It can massage our backs, feet and it can travel from the top of our shorts from the back to the leg-holes at the front. haha... bryan was like: eh... public place dun mari-kita hor...

We also gossiped like dunno what at the jacuzzi, cos bryan was left out in our recent GS-es. Then km also told us about the paparazzi experience he had with Junhui, where upon being spotted, they hugged each other. But joyce didn't recognize any of them until km told her the truth when she got back to the chalet.

Then we went back to the slides, then back to the wave pool where cb and I suntanned while waiting for the waves. We lingered in there for more than an hour, for 2 waves, splashing water, pulling off shorts, playing monkey and capsizing each other off floats. How bo-liao can 4 bo-liao guys get? We finally went to wash up at 4 plus.

We then went to meet LF and viv for dinner at orchard. Settled dinner at Crystal Jade in Taka and shared our class photos. LF and viv insisted that I looked the best, most intellectual when I was in JC. Well, I'm rather satisfied with myself now. haha...

Anyway, viv looked so retro from sec 1 till sec 4, but I don't know why she thinks she looks better in upper sec. oh well, it's her belief. tC was surprising also. From a fatso in sec1 to a lean and tall guy in sec 2. But he still looked as dork-ish in sec3 and didn't improve till sec4. I guess he turned into buaya at that time bah, an enduring trait, I assume. lol

Next, we went to Coffee Bean to wait for tC for a new round of GS. After all, being the PR of our GC, he is the soul of each GS. But well, tC would rather go home from tuition than to meet us. So, we had a rather slow-paced GS with photo-taking and sms-sharing in the process.

The contents of the GS is of cos confidential. After all, gossiping is for sole entertainment and not for personal attack (though I do bad-mouth people I don't like ever so often). But we concluded that a scandal isn't so simple as it seems, especially with gossipers like us who likes to delve deeper and deeper into meanings that didn't seem to hold any meanings.

So, as my nick says: There r 2 sides to a coin, & many viewpoints to a scandal... Gossiping is a way to investigate those viewpoints.

Since we had no new gossips to talk about, we turned the current gossips we have about and around and looked at them in other dimensions/angles/viewpoints and came up with more interesting theories. Hypothesis that will stand until proven wrong.

Investigation reports to be written, Board of Inquiry to be activated.

2006-07-12T00:58:00.000+08:00

Ma'at Sports Day

Venue: SRC
Date/Time: 11 July 2006/11.30am

Somebody just had an idea to have a sports day, perhaps during the dinner after C.A.N where we split up into Pastamania and Pizza Hut (I was in PH). We made a decision and we followed it through the end.

We weren't sure whether we could get the courts or such anot. We don't even have a Plan B (except to play bridge).

A few of us met at Clementi before we had a char kway teow lunch. People present: me, chio bu, gilbert, sin en and LF.

We went to SRC, MPSH2 to find out that Ma'at's affiliation also has a camp and they were having the prayers. Farnie.

When I saw them leave, I peeped into their side of the hall and saw judo mats, so I skipped over to see what I could do with them. Then I saw one Ma'at still on the mat praying. I was like: uh-uh. Those were NOT judo mats. Those are praying mats~

We warmed up by playing decent pingpong ball, while we waited for the others to come. In order or sequence: zin, tC & rx, ed, glenn and finally, viv.

But amidst the decent playing, there will be the few of us who will sit along the side of the table and pass the basketball over the table while the table tennis guys played their games. Something like a 2-way ball game happening there.

Some time into the event, tC and I started playing Crazy Table Tennis. The rule is simple: keep playing, not even when the ball is off the table.

I must say Crazy Table Tennis is VERY TAXING, cos we were cruising across the breadth of the MPSH.

Then it was Monkey when ed came. However, just like any other indecent games, it turned into a Strip Chio Bu Or Twist His Nipples game.

Later, 4 representatives from 4 different countries [LF->North Pole, ed & me->America, zin->Philipino (common sense rite?) and tC-> Taiwan (cos he LOOKS LIKE ELLA)] started playing Crazy Table Tennis: Ultimate.

We started with posing around the table as perwhat we saw on TV. Then, after the ball missed the table, we went into Crazy Table Tennis style, saving the ball despite it being off the table. Then, we started enlarging our 'court' such that we ended up playing WITHOUT the table, but with the barricades that separated 2 groups of table tennis as our 'net'.

That was Crazy Table Tennis upgraded to its Ultimate edition.

arggghhh... too much gaming.

Anyways, we left the SRC to send SE to her bus stop, but ended up lingering at the basketball court while zin a.k.a aminah sends SE off. Rough game, cos I 见红 and kena quite a number of scratches. ed denied it was her doing, so if it wasn't her, then it must be rx or tC... I wanna check their fingernails tomorrow!!

It rained, so we retrograde to clubroom to 'cool down' and tried to smellify zq and yc who were there. Rot for a while, playing the puzzles and blue tack. Then the group of us (excl rx & tC cos they were not interested) subceded to a corner to gossip.

From the corner, we moved to the bench outside clubroom. From the bench outside clubroom, we gossiped to Arts Canteen where we had our dinner. By then, people like aminah and vivian (a.k.a Nua Queen) disappeared.

Then, rx & tC went home and chio bu, LF and me stayed around to chat (with ed who came for an hr) till 10pm.

That's all. Long time since I blogged about the details of the stuff I did on a day. Hope it don't get too boring lol

2006-07-10T23:05:00.000+08:00

Friends & Family (*warning: ultra long post)

Had a tumultous 2 days, I suppose.

1st, on the morning after my last entry, I fell out with my JC gang. Sort of.

It started off with hf chiding me that I shouldn't have allowed her mum to keep the MJ table even as she offered to do so.

I got quite du lan with her accusations and I shot her back with my grouches. The group parted on a bad note.

Somehow, I feel that this is a friendship where its members aren't actively preserving the fire in us.

I have friends who can agree to come out for a chillout at the last minute, even if it means the chillout is further from their home than their workplace is.

I have friends who understand that I live far from the city and they make sure that every time we meet, it will be a fruitful gathering.

But of course they don't fall into the same group.

My belief for a stable friendship is whereby most of the members do their best to preserve the friendship, is that so difficult?

It's not about how much I receive, cos whatever that is contributed is distributed to everyone in the gang. It's about how much you are willing to contribute.

One of the main reason I was du lan with hf was that despite my contributions, she kept demanding more from me, without contributing more herself. Why is it that we must ALWAYS meet at places convenient to them but not me? The place we meet that is closest to my home is Marina Sq.

And when I make the effort to go down to play mahjong, they only played one round of it and they either sleep or watch soccer. Hello? You guys asked me out to play mahjong and you guys played so little of it? The last time we played MJ, they stopped at exactly after midnite, when cabs become exceedingly expensive to take home. We ended up sleeping for 6 hrs at her home to wait for 1st bus.

I don't know how to put it in words, but that was the scenario.

I can calculate the distance I travel by counting the number of stations, the number of times I have to change public transport, the number of expressways, the amount of fares I pay or the outings that I will otherwise miss. But I kept silent until now. And even as I sound out, I was given the 'YOU ARE ACTING LIKE A SENSELESS, IMMATURE BOY' treatment.

I made an effort to come down from Punggol all the way to CCK to spend quality time with you, but you chose to while it away.

And if you ask someone to come from across the island to meet you, shouldn't you make an effort to be on time? Why disappear at the last minute saying you are stuck at another outing with your friends? YOU INVITE ME AND YOU ARE LATE. 1 hr after meeting you, YOU SLEEP. It just goes to show where I stand in your priority list and it upsets me to know how low I rank.

YOU MAKE AN APPT, YOU KEEP THE APPT AND NOT MAKE ANOTHER APPT THAT OVERLAPS THE PRESENT ONE.

Back to the original issue that sparked everything. I don't see any mistake in letting her mum carry the table.

1st: She ordered me to stop carrying. After working so long with elderly, I understand that the best thing you can do for an elderly is to let them have their way. But well, this is not a lonely elderly we are talking. BUT SHE IS NOT BAI KA BAI QIU.

2nd: I AM A GUEST. 过门就是客. And it is not as if I didn't carry the table OUT, set it up and set up the chairs. If it was the case where I just stood around for the whole night and yet let an elder do stuff for me, yes, I'm at fault.

But I didn't.

If I were to be in hf's shoes, IF i didn't want my mum to do the chores, I would have taken over the job instead of ordering my guests at home to do it and blaming them for not helping.

So, are my comments constructive?

Unfortunately, there are people in the world who chose to believe that people like me who always laugh around cannot be listened to. Because people who laugh around = people not serious = people who can't think.

So when I gave my points, they gave me the YOU ARE A KID treatment.

I treat you dearly and you treat me like SHIT.

Backtrack a few years back when I was stuck and busy in the army and you guys are studying. We barely met for the 2 years cos everyone was busy.

Now that the tables are turned, I try not to let history repeats itself.

Who organized outing during term time? Who organized outing despite the impending exams? Do you ever realize NS is just like working where we face unreasonable boss/colleagues, work overtime and work overnite regularly? Who didn't face the problems you face?

Are my contributions so insignificant that you guys just keep asking for more?

I don't need recognition, I just need you to stop demanding from me, cos I'm tired trying to keep up with this friendship that seems to be thriving on my zeal and drive alone.

I am angry cos I am tired. Can you guys feel for me?

At least for my other gangs, there are people who felt my burden and took over once in a while. They organized outings, they find places convenient for me and they lingered around long enough for us to enjoy each other's company and yet I could catch the last train. They don't calculate with me the loss of sleep they end up losing cos they know I lost more on the ride home.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I sent my mum to check her arm, cos 2 weeks after her fall, her bruise didn't go away.

It was really torturous to sacrifice my sleep to wait indefinitely in the polyclinic.

But she complained of dizziness last sat, so I was worried there could be concussion, which was what the GP told us to look out for. I was afraid of the impending costs of scans and such, so I suggested going to polyclinic.

Anyways, I took a sneak peek at the X-ray report while walking from the X-ray centre to the clinic, cos I couldn't resist my curiousity. And I must admit my heart sank when it said positive for fractures. Cracks, to be exact, with no displacement. And there was serious haemorrhage.

I was so worried till the doc assured me that my mum's osteo won't affect her rate of recovery and that all she needed was to rest her arm. Her dizziness was probably due to her high blood pressure, cos if she were to have concussion, it would have happen sooner.

But there are illness/injuries that can never be spotted sooner. After my dad, I can't get easy with my mum. Yes, i get overly paranoid, but there's no way I'm gonna lose another loved one the same way. Yes, i still scream at my mum at times, but when something happens to her, I still get paranoid.

I'm still scared.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Back to friends, but this time new friends.

They are cute, they are lovely and they are full of drive. And yes, i make an effort to join them in their outings as much as I can.

I hope to gain their trust and friendship, and to do so, I have to contribute.

I don't know, it could be that because I was too engrossed in this new and fascinating friendship that I started to neglect/grumble/risk my other, older ones. I hope not. I'm trying to check myself, but well, it's hard.

There are really people whom I enjoyed hanging out with, although I don't know at this stage how we'll turn out. Right now, we are 酒肉朋友, cos we haf not met with any 'crisis' just yet. But I'm worried and reluctant to face a crisis, cos behind each one is a fair chance of make or break.

But it's precisely the fact that we are 酒肉朋友 that makes me so much want to stick with them. cos well, 酒肉朋友 are feel-good friends. They are like chocolates that give you the temporary sense of satisfaction that needs to be fed consistently.

I hope, I really hope, that we can/have already level up to the status of stable friends under the guise of 酒肉朋友. ie, the stability and sweetness combined. Fat hope, I know. But who knows?

One extra friendship is one that I will treasure and put effort in.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I have to blog about someone, but as you should understand, my words for you can't be filled in to a section of an entry alone. I promise you I will devote an entry for you; it's half-filled le. I just need time to fine tune it.

Please, don't give up. As I've said, a stable relationship depends on the combined effort we put in. If you keep saying you are giving up, I won't be able to go long also, cos I'm not strong enough to support, drive and fuel the r/s entirely on my own.

I need you.

2006-07-10T15:02:00.000+08:00

What happens if Microsoft had designed the Ipod?


What happens if Microsoft had designed the Ipod?

2006-07-10T03:18:00.000+08:00

暗箭 (edited)

我想：既然我这段其间都盘旋在被暗伤的话题间，也就心血来潮写了一首有关题目的词。加上一点戏剧效果，添加一点冲突，虽然白话了一点，却表达我的感觉。没办法，我的理念和我的技巧总是无法挂上边。

故事内容，非属虚构，如有类同，纯属故意。

《暗箭》

词：冷叶曲：（自《断点》）

原来一切都已成为定局

写好的结局已铺陈待序

美好的天气谁会相信

艳阳的天空其实正要下雨

当彼此面对面却无法言语

冷漠已蔓延到下雪边际

道别离还是不舍不弃

紧握的双手还留岁月痕迹

一道光闪过眼划破我的脸

黑暗中闪烁身影手里藏着箭

冲动冷静间点燃了导火线

转身后是否伤痕还会多一些

我中了他的箭用妒嫉抹上狠毒字眼

你和我的过去都灰飞烟灭

我努力推向前试图将感情挽回

恨只恨最后还是畏缩崩溃

我中了他的箭是贪婪锄成耸听危言

在你我脆弱时候挑拨离间

手再烫也无法阻止热情冷却

分岔的信念悬在棱角只差致命一箭

虽然一切都似风平浪静

幕后的黑手早已设下陷阱

用薄纱偷偷蒙上了眼睛

一样的窗口看到不同风景

当彼此紧紧握着共同回忆

还有谁能在暗中制造距离

道别离还是不舍不弃

刹那间只怕暗箭突然来袭

一道光闪过眼划破我的脸

黑暗中闪烁身影手里藏着箭

冲动冷静间点燃了导火线

转身后是否伤痕还会多一些

我中了他的箭用妒嫉抹上狠毒字眼

你和我的过去都灰飞烟灭

我努力推向前试图将感情挽回

恨只恨最后还是畏缩崩溃

我中了他的箭是贪婪锄成耸听危言

在你我脆弱时候挑拨离间

手再烫也无法阻止热情冷却

分岔的信念悬在棱角只差致命一箭